Words have the power to start wars or create peace
I think we often underestimate the power of language.
Words have the power to start wars or create peace, destroy relationships or strengthen them.
They are far more powerful and have far more affect than we often think. That goes both for words that others speak to us or self-talk.
I was recently running some workshops for elite athletes at the Institute of Sport and was explaining this to them in a sporting context. I was explaining to them that our words and language affects our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our emotions. Our emotions affect our actions. For example, for an athlete, if they’re on the starting line telling themselves that they feel tired and the person in the lane next to them will probably win, don’t you think that those thoughts will affect their emotions and expectations? And these will most definitely affect their performance. Similarly in normal everyday life – if we think we don’t deserve something do you think that will affect the drive that we have for going after that thing.
How we feel about anything (our emotions) is shaped by the meaning we attach to it. And the words you consciously or unconsciously select (our words) to describe a situation immediately change what it means to you and thus how you feel.
So choose your words carefully. They are far more powerful than you think.
They have the power to start wars or create peace.
They have the power to destroy relationships or strengthen them.
They can build up children or tear them down.
They have the power to stick with someone, wound them and affect their actions years down the track.
Challenge
What words are you speaking to others ?
What words are you speaking to yourself ?
10 powerful things extraordinary people say every day
As an athlete I know the power of language for affecting my psychology and then in turn my physiology and performance. But more broadly, language is around us everywhere and is far more powerful in its influence than what we often think. Certain words, or phrases, or ways of saying things can make a big difference.
So here’s a list of 10 things that you should say everyday that will make a difference. Say them to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, loved one and so on:
1. “Here’s what I’m thinking.”
You’re might be in charge, but that doesn’t mean you’re smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. So phrase your thinking like this. It allows you to back up your statements and decisions, to give reasons, to justify, to explain … but it also opens up those decisions to discussion, and criticism, and … improvement.
Authority can make you “right,” but collaboration makes everyone right – and makes everyone pull together.
2. “I was wrong.”
Oh how right this is. How often do you someone say they’re sorry though? And how powerful is it when people do? Because the thing is, we will all make wrong decisions at one time or another. We’ll make decisions based on things that looked good on paper but in practice were a failure and caused inconvenience, pain and cost. The fact is – we’ll stuff up in some, way, shape and form as none of us are perfect.
When you’re wrong, say you’re wrong. You won’t lose respect – you’ll gain it.
3. “That was awesome. Well done.”
In many cultures (for example Asia) praise is rare. People worry about the effects of praise. They argue that it can lead to inflated egos, to complacency, to performance drops and so on. But both myself and much of the research disagrees. (Read this article on parenting for example).
In my opinion, no one gets enough praise. No one. Why else do employees consistently report on surveys that they don’t get enough recognition or praise and yet employers always feel they’re giving enough or too much praise to begin with? There are a lot of myths and excuses around giving praise as this article outlines well. Of course there are ways and means, but the point is praise should not be rare.
Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the recipient. Start praising. The people around you will love you for it – and you’ll like yourself a little better, too.
4. “You’re welcome.”
Think about a time when you gave a gift and the recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward. Their reaction took away a little of the fun for you, right? The same thing can happen when you are thanked or complimented or praised. Don’t spoil the moment or the fun for the other person. The spotlight may make you feel uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is make eye contact and say, “Thank you.” Or make eye contact and say, “You’re welcome. I was glad to do it.”
Don’t let thanks, congratulations, or praise be all about you. Make it about the other person, too.
5. “Can you help me?”
When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, “Can you help me?”. You see, as adults, we tend to frame our request for help to signal our importance (you’re smart, experienced, savvy and accomplished after all) and importantly, to protect our egos. Yet, if we just asked the simple question of “Can you help me?”, I promise you’ll get help.
And in the process you’ll show vulnerability, respect, trust and a willingness to listen – which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader. And are all qualities of a great friend.
6. “I’m sorry.”
Just like “I was wrong” saying “I’m sorry” is powerful. And we all make mistakes and have things we need to apologise for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support etc. So say you’re sorry. But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like “But I was really mad, because…” or “But I did think you were…” or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.
Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more. Then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts.
7. “Can you show me?”
Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything. Just as is the case for “Can you help me?”, when you ask “Can you show me?”, you implicitly show you respect the person giving the advice; you show you trust his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better assess the value of the advice.
Don’t just ask for input. Ask to be taught or trained or shown. Then you both win.
8. “Let me give you a hand.”
Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask for help. But we all need help at some point. So instead, offer to help. But don’t just say, “Is there anything I can help you with?” Most people will give you a version of the reflexive “No, I’m just looking” reply to sales clerks and say, “No, I’m all right.” Instead, be specific. Say “I’ve got a few minutes. Can I help you finish that?” Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous.
Model the behaviour you want your employees to display. Then actually roll up your sleeves and help.
9. “I love you.”
This goes without saying. Well, not at work, but everywhere you mean it – and every time you feel it.
10. Nothing.
I think this is the biggest lesson I’ve been slow to learn over the last number of years. Sometimes the best thing is to say nothing – I never knew that could be such a powerful lesson ! Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you’re upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better, but it never does. And that’s especially true where your employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are forever. Criticize an employee in a group setting and it will seem like he or she will eventually got over it, but inside, he or she never will.
Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from a mistake made because of faulty data or inaccurate projections. But you’ll never recover from the damage you inflict on an employee’s self-esteem.
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues. (Proverbs 17:28).
Be quiet until you know exactly what to say – and exactly what affect your words will have.
The Reverse Bucket List – turning the bucket list on its head
As you all know – I love a good bucket list !
You may remember when I shared my bucket list. And it then inspired others to write and share theirs.
Remember Vanessa’s – 30 things before 30 !!!
And then Alicias bucket list.
And then Emma Mullings bucket list.
Well in this blog I want to turn the bucket list on its head .. what about a bucket list where you write down all the things you’ve already done in life – the reverse bucket list !
It will be such a wonderful process to think and reflect on what you’ve already done. And I bet that you, like me, have done a lot – way more than you first thought. And as you start writing your ‘reverse bucket list’, what’s even better is that the overriding emotion that you will feel is one of joy and gratitude. You’ll feel blessed that you’ve had the opportunity to do so much. Blessed that you’ve had the finances to bring them to pass. Thankful for all the good memories you’ve made. Happy that you’ve seen and experienced all that you have. Grateful for how fortunate you are to live the life that you have. And what a way to bring joy and happiness and gratefulness into your life and springboard yourself on to the next bucket list !
So try the reverse bucket list – not a list of all the things you want to do, but a list of all the things you have already done / experienced / completed / seen / smelt / felt / conquered.
… I look forward to hearing your stories and seeing your reverse bucket lists …
You just kinda want it – you don’t want it as much as you want to be cool
“Most of you say you want to be successful … but you don’t want it bad – you just kinda want it …
you don’t want it badder than you want to party …
you don’t want it as much as you want to be cool …
most of you don’t want success as much as you want to sleep”
Wow. Now that’s a reminder. A reminder that you can’t wish your dreams into being. Thinking something is all well and good, but it’s not the same as doing. Success doesn’t just happen – it takes hardwork and commitment and discipline. It takes pushing through the ups and downs that come your way on the journey. It takes saying no to things and forgoing other things. It takes not accepting excuses. It takes an active decision to prioritise that goal and dream that you’re chasing. It takes time. And it takes motivation.
When I coach or speak to people about motivation I always explain that to be truly effective it has to come from the heart not the head. That is, it comes from deep inside you. It isn’t just positive talk that stems from your head. Or that song or speech or video that pumps you up for that moment. Or consciously willing yourself to do something. They’re all fine and good. But real motivation is a deep powerful force coming from within you – pushing you forward to what you want. That help you get through those obstacles and set-backs and disappointments. It is those deep unconscious emotional drivers in action (see Chapter 4 of my book ‘A Life That Counts‘ for more on this and the psychology around the Limbic System / motivation / making change.
So use this video to inspire you, but realise that to really start to move forward to the things you want it will take two things:
1. A decision
2. Figuring out WHY you really want that thing / goal / dream. The deep reason of why you want whatever you want to achieve / be / do. No, really: why do you want it? What will you get from it? How will you feel about yourself? What will it mean to achieve your dream?
You see when you’re clear on ‘why’ you’re doing something, then the ‘hows’ become clearer and become simply a means of making the ‘why’ come to pass.
Here’s a couple of examples of what I mean from two incredible contributors to my book.
1. Lydia Lassila (Olympic Gold Medallist):
‘Throughout my whole career, I was frustrated because I knew my potential. I knew I was better than the results I was showing. I’d perform well and have a sense of accomplishment, but I’d then get another injury and get so down and disappointed. What kept me going, though, was knowing I was better and could be better and that I had the potential to be number one in the world. I hadn’t got there yet, but that was what was motivating me: the fact that I knew I hadn’t yet reached my full potential. I knew my potential was the gold medal. I knew it was to break the world record. It’s personal reward, and I’ll take that to the grave with me.’
2. Michael Milton (World Sportsperson of the Year with a Disability, multiple Paralympic Gold medallist, Winter and Summer Paralympian):
‘One of the things cancer takes away from you is your own belief in yourself, particularly as your body starts to fail. You start to lose that self-worth. About a month after I’d finished my cancer treatment, I really had no idea of where or what I wanted to do in my life. The prognosis looked good in terms of going into remission, and my health had improved, but I just didn’t know what I was going to do. Was I going to be an athlete or apply for a real job? I found myself sitting with my ‘Goals’ folder, and when looking through it, I saw a goal I’d set myself 18 months before: to go to Beijing as a track cyclist. I think that when I wrote that goal down, it was more of an option at the time. I wasn’t fully committed to it at that time, and so after I’d researched it and considered it further, I wrote on another piece of paper a whole pile of points – the good things that could come out of this goal even if I didn’t achieve it. This was my ‘why’ and helped me to really commit to the goal fully. It was about getting healthy and fit again. It was about giving myself something to do. It was about motivation to get out of bed on a daily basis when I had no energy. It was more than just achieving that goal. And I remember the reward of just receiving that phone call from the head coach telling me I’d been selected for Beijing, and just sitting on the bed with my wife, crying our eyes out.’
Challenge
What do you want ?
Why ?
Find your ‘why’ and get clear on that …
and then watch and feel the difference in your motivation and then your behaviour.
Pareto+ – my best productivity tips
You might remember a past post of mine where I gave 5 tips on time management, efficiency and productivity. I like writing about these things because personally I love learning things that will then help me to become more efficient and productive. I mean why would I want something to take me longer than it could? Or why would I do something one way if there is a better way to do it? I’m not into change for change’s sake and I’m no techno geek, but once I’m onto something, if it can work for me in my everyday life and make me more efficient and productive then I’ll happily embrace it. In fact – bring it on!
So here’s some of the best tips I know or have come across to help you be more efficient and productive. Enjoy !
Tip 1 – Don’t mistake being busy with being productive. They’re two different things
I’ve fallen into this trap recently I think. Sometimes doing less and doing it in a more focussed and successful way can make you achieve more and be more productive. A couple of ways I’ve heard of people putting this into action are:
- Method 1 – “In days” and “out days” – on the in days you hunker down, do not leave the office or house and work hard. On the out days you do all your errands, meetings and other activities.
- Method 2 – “Time chunking” – setting aside chunks of time for completing specific tasks to get everything done. For example you could set aside different days or different times of the day for specific types of activities
- Method 3 – “Pomodoro technique” – Developed in the 90s by an Italian efficiency enthusiast, it’s stupidly simple and aimed at instilling focus and a sense of urgency. Basically you pick a task and take one of those kitschly 90s red tomato kitchen timers and set it to 25 minutes. Next, you churn through your task, ignoring distractions, not stopping to make tea or stare at the ceiling. You then rest for 5 minutes and repeat the cycle three more times, after which you rest for a good half hour and grab lunch or read emails. The aim is to work to these 30-minute cycles daily, building up the self-discipline muscle. (I’ve also come across this same method but applied per hour. That is – work hard for 50 minutes and then have 10 minutes off and repeat).
- Method 4 – “Eat That Frog technique” – This is based on Brian Tracy’s book and the concept is to sit down and write a master list of everything you need to get done, from the pressingly urgent to the one-day-I’ll-get-around-to-it stuff. (This includes everything from work-related tasks to personal errands). Then you prioritise with a letter beside each item. A items are extremely urgent, B items are things that need to be done but not urgent, C items are things that would be nice to do but are not imperative, and D items you delegate to someone else. Once you have this list, start writing daily lists based off this master list. The idea is that you ALWAYS do your A tasks first, and never do a C item before an A item is completed. So being clear on what needs to be done is key but then just executing it the other half. “An average plan vigorously executed is far better than a brilliant plan on which nothing is done.”
- Method 5 – “How do you eat an elephant technique” – What is it with the animal examples? Anyway, to do any task, you must chunk it down into segments. So if you are procrastinating, just chunk it down to a small amount of time – say half the time you need. An hour becomes 30 minutes. 15 minutes becomes 7. Anything to begin! This makes hard tasks more digestible. And once something is started, you have more motivation to finish it so it is less likely that you will procrastinate further.
Tip 2 – Never, ever check your email first thing in the morning
Again, I can’t say I’m good at this and I have felt recently that my email has been ruling me rather than the other way around. But when I have employed this it has been very good. Basically the night before I have written a to-do list for the next day and then when I come in I get straight into doing that one main thing that I know needs to be done that day. I do this when I’m freshest and the office is quietest. And before I can procrastinate or before email inevitably derails my day and sends me down a path of being busy but not necessarily productive. So I just get into this main task first up – without opening my email. Then when I’m finished that task, I have this great sense of completion and at that point I check my email and get with all the other things that I need to do.
Tip 3 – Use Hootsuite for all social media.
It’s the only (to my knowledge) free desktop that allows me to post to all (or a few) social media outlets at once. Again, I have a “hootlet” widget in my bookmarks and can share a link everywhere in an instant.
Tip 4 – Use Evernote.
Evernote lets you capture anything – ideas, images, links, photos. And you can get access to it anywhere as it syncs between Evernote works with nearly every computer, phone and mobile device out there. So it is a smart and easy way of keeping everything in one place. Plus you can find things fast because you can search by a keyword or tag (even within handwritten text in an image or within a pdf).
So if you are on the ferry and think of something or see something you like – save it in Evernote and then you can get it anytime – even when you’re not in front of your computer or if you’re overseas travelling and only have your phone. (Apparently they are also releasing a Moleskine that will scan your handwriting directly into Evernote … nice !)
Tip 5 – Use the keychain access function or use Lastpass
Keychain Access is a Mac function. It’s a secure spot where you can put all your passwords on one spot for easy access. I use Lastpass for the same purpose. It is secure and can be accessed from anywhere from any device. You could use it for more than just your passwords – really anything you want – be that passwords or personal information. Don’t forget this password though !
Tip 6 – You don’t have to reply to every email
I reckon about 50% of emails are wastes of time. You know the ones I mean. Everyone is cc’d on them and they go round and round and fill up your inbox. Or the ones that are just stupid and could be better solved by picking up the phone. Every email you write, some study has found, creates an extra three. And the thing is, with everyone writing so many emails without much thought on productivity / necessity, the sender rarely remembers writing it or whether you haven’t replied. So feel free to delete some email (you can always search in trash if necessary) and feel free to not return every email. I figure I can always do a search in my trashed items if I have to find something again.
I really enjoyed Sarah Wilson’s blog post on e-tox on this topic. Have a read.
Tip 7 – Use tools like ‘Siri’ or Oh Don’t Forget or ‘Notes’ to remember things
In my case I tend to use Notes on my iphone and when I think of things on the fly, type them into there and then it automatically syncs to my computer (it shows up in my email inbox). Others use Siri on their iPhone5 (I’m a bit behind the times here I’m afraid) for writing long texts or remembering things . Or you could use a tool like Oh Don’t Forget which sends free text reminders to yourself and others.
Tip 8 – Use Dropbox.
Like Evernore dropbox syncs across all your devices so you can save your photos, files, videos, music to dropbox and access it anywhere. It also acts as a cloud back-up. And then it allows you to share your files easily – so no need to ever email a file to yourself again! Here’s a list of some other things you could do in dropbox.
Tip 9 – Less meetings.
I think people forget that in most cases, meetings aren’t work. In my experience they are excuses for inaction and lack of executive decision making. After all, talking about doing something is different to actually doing it. A day of minimal meetings will see your productivity shoot up. Ask yourself – could a conversation, email or other form of communication be done instead of a meeting? Meetings should be used for 1) communicating an executive decision (one-way information dissemination) or 2) truly discussing an idea and brainstorming, truly eliciting suggestions from teams and coming up with a solution to a problem (two-way information sharing). However I think you’ll agree with me that many meetings we hold or attend fall into that middle ground in which case they aren’t actually productive. Can this be solved with a simple conversation or simple email? Can you send an SMS to arrange a mobile phone hook-up at a time outside of the core part of the day?
After all of that, if you still need to hold a meeting then the challenge is to make them effective. (In this vain, consider things like – the length of time of a meeting, setting the objectives/agenda for the meeting, having the right people invited, starting on time, sticking to the agenda, assigning action items, ending when you need to not when Outlook says you should).
I could write a lot on this. But another two good posts to read and challenge you on this topic are by Tim Ferriss – here and here.
Tip 10 – Use email folders.
Perhaps this is pretty obvious, but it is surprising how many people don’t use them. Using email folders mean you can quickly and easily find whatever you’re looking for.
Tip 11 – Get organised. Lists are good.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. I am old school when it comes to much of my diary.
It isn’t that I don’t use an electronic diary or that I don’t share an online diary. I do. But on the whole I use an old school diary. For me it works. Of course, this is fraught with the danger of losing it, but it works for me because it forces me to continue to write lists (see how I have a list for the week cut into various categories and sub-tasks) and then each day has its to-do list. I like being able to print things out that might relate to that week (eg an invitation) and keep it in the diary for that week.
I’m showing you this because arguably the important thing is not which method you use but that you do it. Find what works for you. But regardless do it. Lists. Tasks. Being organised.
Tip 12 – Your environment helps – choose the right environment
Work in a place that you associate with work, such as an office building or library. Don’t try to work on something that requires sustained attention in the place where you play and relax, such as your bedroom or family room. Your surroundings set the stage for your focus – if they are associated with work, you will focus on work. And the same goes for play of course – and we can never have enough of that!
Tip 13 – Healthy body, healthy mind – take breaks.
I actually find this hard. Ask my partner or work colleagues. BUt taking a break will timulate your productivity. Sitting at a desk for hours is not the best way to be the most productive. So get up, grab a coffee, water a plant, go for a run … it will improve your concentration and focus and your productivity will soar. Try it.
Tip 14 – Use Instapaper for long readsI
This is new to me and I’m going to implement it. It is a great program / tool that allows you to save web pages for reading later. Basically Instapaper gives you a Read Later bookmark and when you find something you want to read, but you don’t have time, you click Read Later. It then saves the links you want to read later or use another time. So then when you have time, you go back there, go through your stored links and read them or file them into categories. (For example, read a bunch when travelling by downloading them to read on the plane. Or read a few on the bus / train / ferry on the way home). Read Sarah Wilson’s blog on it here.
Tip 15 – Use Jing for screencasting
This is free, open source screen capture software that lets you record and share images, video and what you see on your screen. So, you can select any window or region on your screen and then share it in various ways. Or you can select any window or region on your computer that you would like to record and Jing will capture everything that happens in that area. It is good for doing webinars or recording instructions for your virtual assistant or others.
Challenge
Which of these tips can you implement to become more productive?
The journey has begun … (Beach Flags – Part 3)
Here’s the next instalment of my Beach Flags journey.
You will recall that after reading and getting a lot out of my book ‘A Life That Counts’, my friend Jesper told me that he liked how my book was so practical, but he wanted even more. More details on HOW. HOW did I actually go after my own goals and dreams. What did I do – step-by-step.
So here’s part 3 to give you what you asked for. And using my latest goal and challenge – to become the World Champion (40-45 years) in Surf Life-Saving Beach Flags in 2014.
Step 6 – Learn from and model the best
I’m a massive believer in doing things right the first time and learning from the best. Why would I want to learn the wrong technique at the outset, only to have to try and change it down the track? Why wouldn’t I just learn it the correct way from the beginning – even if that takes a bit longer? Why wouldn’t I ask advice from people who know more? Why wouldn’t I suck all the knowledge that I could out of the best ?
Well that’s exactly what I went about doing ! And the best in the world in this event is Simon Harris. He is a multiple World Champion and (now) 10 time Australian Champion. 10 times ! Damn, that’s impressive.
And fortunately for me, Simon is one of those guys who is so good at what he does, that he doesn’t have anything to prove or any barriers to put up. He’s happy to share his knowledge with others. Thankyou Simon ! (As an aside I’ve found this to be the case with very successful people. They may be hard to track down or get their time and attention but when you do, they are only more than happy to share their wisdom, knowledge and insight. In contrast I have found that the less successful – those people who don’t want to help you, who defend their silos, who keep all their knowledge to themselves, who put you down to make themselves better etc – they’re those ‘small-minded’ people who don’t carry any of the big-mindedness of the truly successful who don’t have anything to prove or defend).
So I copied Simon. I modelled everything he did. I watched him on videos and copied it. Like a little kid.
And when I was up on the Gold Coast, where Simon is from, I got in contact with him (through a proper introduction) and went and did a training session with him. It was fantastic and so helpful.
And along the way I would occasionally text him with some questions. Or get him to watch me do a couple of starts if we were ever in the same competition and warming -up.
Yep – model the best !
Step 7 – Just do it. Talk is cheap
The thing is … I could have the best vision board in the world. Great goal-setting. I could have amazing contacts with World Champions like Simon and my coach Marty Lynch who help me and give me input. But at the end of the day, no matter which way you look at it – you’ve got to do the work. Plain and simple. Talk is cheap.
So this step was all about me just getting in and doing the work. I knew that I didn’t have a great training base under me for this years championships. I knew that I was only learning. I knew that I was underdone. But at this point I just needed to focus and do the training. So it was off to the gym to get stronger. Off to the track to get faster. Off to the physio and chiro to get over strains and injuries. Off to the bank to pay for it all ! 🙂 Into the kitchen to prepare stuff so I’d eat better. Down to the beach to practice the get-up and turn – the one I had watched so many times on the video but needed to figure out for myself. And off to competitions to get experience and practice.
And it is the same with any goal you’re going after. Talk is cheap. you’ve got to do the work. As Muhammad Ali said “The fight is won or lost far away from the witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance in those lights”.
Step 8 – Enjoying the journey
I’ve done a lot of sport over the years with rugby and bobsleigh. Too many to count but just over 20 years of serious sport. And the whole point of doing Beach Flags was to enjoy being fit and to enjoy the next challenge. To enjoy not having to cart a massive bobsleigh around everywhere. To enjoy doing a summer sport because both rugby and bobsleigh are winter sports. To enjoy being in good shape. To enjoy new experiences. To enjoy meeting new people and so on. And I am … and that is a big part of the journey. After all, if you don’t enjoy it, why would you do it ?
Step 9 – Test myself and see where I’m at
I had no specific goals this year. I am only 3 months into the sport and have a lot to learn. And I don’t really know what to expect. So doing competitions was more about the experience and learning rather than aiming for a particular result. But as is the case whenever you set goals, you need to see where you’re at so that you know if you’re on track to achieve your goal or not. Do you need to adjust? Are you ahead or behind of where you should be ? What have you learnt and need to learn ?
And for me this was competing in the State Championships and then the Austrlaian Championships.
I surprised myself in the State Titles by winning it and so it was off to the Nationals last month. (As much as I had no expectations this year having just begun this journey as I said, when you’re in competition that all flies out the window of course. You want to win ! Whether you’ve done the work to back up the will is another question entirely. (I love the quote that says “Plenty of people have the desire to be champions but only champions have the desire to prepare !”.
Anyway I entered the Australian Championships with no massive expectations, but still a secret goal to win a medal).
And guess what – good news – I did – I won silver !
So it was a very happy Jeremy who came back to Sydney having enjoyed the whole experience and being happy with his performance. And the good news is that it has fired me up for next year – faster; in better shape; technically better; have stronger power to weight – just better !
So now it is back into the hard work with 1 year to go until the next Australian Championships in Perth and then six months after that to the World Championships.
So stay tuned for the next instalments of the journey. I hope you’re enjoying them and learning at the same time.
The journey has begun … (Beach Flags – Part 2)
Remember my friend Jesper who has just read my book and asked me to show him more specific and actual steps about how I went after a goal – in my case, my goal to become World Masters Beach Flags champion in 2014. You can read the first post here in which I talk about figuring out this next challenge / goal and then figuring out why I wanted it.
Here’s the second instalment.
Step 3 – Structured Goal Setting
Here’s my actual goal setting for my 2014 Beach Flags goal. See below. You will see that I have:
1. The Big Goal – The big,shiny outcome goal written down for 2014
2. Yearly planning – I have the key dates written down over the next 18 months
3. Monthly planning – I have broken this down into each month for the 18 months leading up to the World Championships so I know generally what I’m doing in my training, what my aims are and where I’m heading
4. Weekly planning – I have a weekly training schedule. What do I train on which day ? I spend a fair bit of time on this weekly plan to get it right as I want to make sure it fits into the other parts of my life eg I don’t want to train on a Friday night as I want to relax and chill out. I want a life too ! And when I don’t feel like it is all-consuming I never get that feeling of resenting my training. It adds to my life rather than takes away from my life. I plan to train at lunch on weekdays so it gives me a break from work and I then work better in the afternoons. And also because I am not good at training in the morning – I prefer just to get into work. I also make sure that the daily program makes sense by ensuring that I have enough recovery for various sessions, that I am training when I have energy (eg not at the end of the day if I can help it), and that I am doing enough training in each of the important training elements (speed, strength, flexibility, technical flags training) so that I ensure I am working on improving weaknesses, maintaining my strengths, are well-rounded in my training etc.
5. Daily planning – then each day for that particular session I will know what I am doing. What weights I am doing or what running session? This is a plan only though so it may change depending on how I am feeling / injuries etc. But the important thing is that it is still a plan. I don’t just turn up to training and then try and figure out what I am doing.
* Write my goals down
Tick.
(As the saying says “A goal is a dream written down or a dream with a deadline !” And surprisingly most people don’t do this as numerous studies have shown. For example see this blog post which describes a well known study by Harvard on goal-setting which Mark McCormack talks about in his book ‘What They don’t teach you at Harvard Business School’. The point – there’s a power in writing your goals down).
* SMARTR goal setting
Specific – at this stage I don’t have enough of these very specific milestone goals. I need to add these. They will be in terms of technique improvements, speed tests, weights I want to lift, diet etc.
Measurable – I will see how I am tracking at State and Australian titles this year. That will be a good measurement. But the more specific milestone goals will all be able to be measured of course.
Achievable – my big outcome goal of World Champion is absolutely achievable if I can stay in great shape and learn the technique from the best. But getting to this point of absolute belief is the topic of another blog post. Or read my book of course.
Regularly assessed – as I add more milestone goals they will be regularly assessed in accordance with the timing I put on them. Again – more need to get added here. But goal-setting is an ongoing process not a set and forget.
Timed – as above
Reward – the fitness and health I gather along the way is enough for me now as I have no big result expectations this year. But as I enter the next 2013/2014 season, as I have encouraged others, I will come up with a specific reward for winning the Australian title and then another one for winning the World Championships.
Step 4 – Support for my goals
Tick. I still train with my brakeman from the last Olympic season (Duncan Harvey) on Sundays to keep me training at that higher level as he is still in training for the upcoming Winter Olympics in Sochi.
I have a great family and partner who are supportive.
I have a coach on the beach flags side who knows his stuff. He is a multiple Masters World Champion himself and his son just won the open World Championships this year.
Step 5 – Get input on my plan
Tick. I always let other people critique my plan and I welcome their input. Sure, it is not cast in stone and will change over time anyway, but my goal-setting is nonetheless the big roadmap that I will follow. So for this reason I want knowledgeable people to look at it and make suggestions and comments to help me make it better. That is why there are scribbles on this page. The point – you can always learn and improve so input from the right people can be invaluable.
… I hope this is helpful. Stay tuned for the next instalment shortly as the last few months have been busy leading into the Australian Championships which have just finished. So there’s more to share on this journey.
The suspended coffee – paying it forward
I remember when I was writing my book A Life That Counts I was confronted with what my life actually stood for. Basically I had a great family, great friends, lived in a beautiful democratic country, and had spent my life pursuing sporting goals and working hard in banking and finance to effectively contribute to a share price improving.
And in stark contrast I wrote about the issues of human trafficking and global poverty.
It all seemed so ridiculous.
Now I know you can’t always think like this, but it challenges me all the time. Whilst 1.4 billion people live on less than US$1.25 per day, I would throw around money for drycleaning and complain about the jetcat being late.
Then I came across this little story to warm my heart and encourage me to do little things along the way to doing greater things that make a difference.
“We enter a little coffeehouse with a friend of mine and give our order. While we’re approaching our table two people come in and they go to the counter :
‘Five coffees, please. Two of them for us and three suspended’
They pay for their order, take the two and leave. I ask my friend:
‘What are those ‘suspended’ coffees ?’
‘Wait for it and you will see’
Some more people enter. Two girls ask for one coffee each, pay and go. The next order was for seven coffees and it was made by three lawyers – three for them and four ‘suspended’. While I still wonder what’s the deal with those ‘suspended’ coffees I enjoy the sunny weather and the beautiful view towards the square infront of the café. Suddenly a man dressed in shabby clothes who looks like a beggar comes in throught the door and kindly asks ‘Do you have a suspended coffee ?’
It’s simple – people pay in advance for a coffee meant for someone who can not afford a warm bevarage. The tradition with the suspended coffees started in Naples, but it has spread all over the world and in some places you can order not only a suspended coffee, but also a sandwich or a whole meal.
Challenge / Thought
Don’t you love the idea? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have such cafés or even grocery stores in every town where the less fortunate will find hope and support? If you own a business why don’t you offer something similar to your clients. As for me I’m determined to find ways to pay it forward more.
Bullying, yogi bear & the garbage man, pork chops & karate chops and … beauty
Shane Koyczan was bullied a lot when he was a kid. So he took that pain and made this stunning video – a spoken poem. It’s powerful and confronting. Its passionate and beautiful.
- At 1:10, he talks about the unfair question grown-ups always asked when we were kids.
- At 1:41, he walks through his career choices.
- At 2:11, some adults tell him something awful.
- At 3:00, he decides on an impossible career.
- At 3:48, he blows my mind.
- At 4:50, he quotes an line from a cartoon. I never knew how epic that line was.
- At 6:00, the audience realizes something tragic and funny.
- At 7:36, he rips my heart out.
- At 8:41, something awful is said.
- At 9:15, he preaches the truth.
- At 10:00, he has a message to every kid who was ever bullied.
- At 10:49, you have to do what he says.
- At 11:28, he gets to the beautiful, beautiful point. And everybody gives him a standing ovation.
So if you’ve ever been bullied (and I was) then take heart from what Shane says. If you can’t see anything beautiful in yourself then use another mirror. Look harder. Stare longer. And adults were wrong when they said that “sticks and stones might break your bones but names would never hurt you”. Words can hurt deeply. But … the people that threw around those words have to be wrong because why else would you be here. Why else would something inside you push you to keep trying. And why would God have created just you with your unique personality, talents and gifts. You are not what you were called. You are beautiful for everything that God creates is good !
And to bullies out there – may you be challenged to use your tongue and words to build up not tear down. To magnify not diminish. To encourage not ridicule. To compliment not criticise. To not have to make yourself feel better by making others feel worse. As you grow up and mature you’ll realise that that is one of the marks of real strength and character.
And if you have dreams, then don’t let anyone define to you what they can be. Like Shane points out – so often we’re asked what we want to do or be. And then when we dare share those precious personal thoughts and dreams, we are so often shot down and told they are impossible, foolish, stupid, impractical, unrealistic. We are told what we can’t be or can’t do, instead of what we can be or can do. We are asked to accept the identity others want to give us or asked to accept their own limitations of what’s possible. Show me anyone who has achieved something great and left a mark on this life and I will show you someone who refused to be limited by what others told them. Instead they trod their own path … and the rest is history. May you be encouraged to do the same.
