Belief Archives | jeremyrolleston.com

We’re both scared but for different reasons

We’re both scared but for different reasons.
I’m scared of what I wont become.
You’re scared of what I could become.
I wont let myself end where I started.
I wont let myself finish where I began.
I know what’s is within me even if you can’t see it yet …
I will become what I know I am.

Fear holds so many of us back. And it comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. It could be the fear of failure. Or it could be the fear of success. It could be the fear of letting others down. The fear of disappointing your parents or teacher. It could be many things.
But here’s something I’ve learnt it my own life and also when interviewing the 10 famous Australians for my book A Life That Counts. Successful people face the same fears as we do. It is not that they are not afraid. It is that they choose to ignore it. They choose to do something regardless of their fear. They choose to adopt a different mindset with that fear.

You see fearlessness is not the same as the absence of fear. The fearless person is well aware of the fear she faces. The fear, though, becomes a compass, not a barrier. It becomes a way to know what to do next, not something that has to be denied or an evil demon to be extinguished. When we deny our fear, we make it stronger. And trying to deny it doesn’t make us fearless.

But acknowledging your fear and moving on / choosing a new (brave) mindset permits any fear to exist without strengthening it or letting it control you.

“We’re both scared but for different reasons.
I’m scared of what I wont become.
You’re scared of what I could become.”

Challenge
The fear will not necessarily go away. So what new empowering and brave mindset will you adopt despite the fears you have ?

Wanting something you've never had

It was the brainiac Albert Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. And he would know, after his countless experiments formed the basis for him publishing more than 300 scientific papers and 150 non-scientific works !

But, back to the point … in the same vein, it follows that if you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

The problem is, though, that it’s often as if there are invisible hands that hold us back when we want to do something we’ve never done. And this is what I want to focus in on today. So what are examples of these invisible hands? Well here’s some of them:

1. CHANGE
None of us like change. We are creatures of habit. If you want things to change you’re going to have to get to a point where you embrace change. Pretty obvious isn’t it. But easier said than done. Enough said ! To do something you’ve never done will require embracing change.

2. FEAR
We all have fears, and they come in many shapes and sizes. And they can emanate from many areas and for many reasons. But their effects are the same – doubt, hopelessness, nervousness, and the desire to shrink back rather than move forward. For example – fear of failure. Unlike kids, as adults, we often visualise the outcome already don’t we. So why would we begin or try something new or do something we’ve never done when we might embarrass ourselves and make a fool of ourselves? We see what could happen in the negative, rather than what could happen in the positive. The challenge is not to let that fear or those fears be a controlling influence on us and to cause us to stop moving forward in the direction of our dreams. It’s a choice. Plain and simple.

That’s a key point I’ve definitely discovered in my journey through life so far and through the opportunity I’ve had to meet and interview some incredible people as I did for my book. It is clear to me that people who accomplish incredible things face the very same fears as you and I do. The difference – they choose to take a different approach and mindset. They choose to see the glass half full. They choose to see the potential and possible outcome. They choose to dare to dream and follow those dreams. They choose to think bigger and broader about what’s possible and to have a go regardless of the ultimate outcome. They choose to see possibilities and dreams and to ask, ‘Why not?’ rather than see things and ask, ‘Why?’ They choose to believe the reasons why they’ll achieve their dream, not the reasons why they won’t achieve it. They make a conscious choice.

It reminds me of something Australian Rugby League player, Jason Stevens, said to me when interviewing him.
“Before a game, I was pretty much always fearful – especially in a big game like State of Origin, where there are millions watching. You have the expectations of fans, and you don’t want to let anybody down. For me, the feeling of fear never really went away, but what I learnt was to do things afraid.”

3. LIMITING MINDSETS
To do something we’ve never done requires a mental shift doesn’t it? A change of paradigm. Adopting a new view. Having a change of attitude. This is where it starts as our mindset effects our actions which then effects the outcome.
But this is easier said than done isn’t it? The crazy thing though is that it is often our own self-limitations that hold us back the most as opposed to limitations ‘imposed’ on us by others. It’s as if we’re chained up by our own choice. I mean, there’s not one person in a hundred who couldn’t write down his or her most exciting dream and not at the same time tell you, ‘It’s probably impossible; it’ll never happen.’ There’s not one person in a hundred who couldn’t give you good reasons why his or her dreams won’t come to pass and why he or she won’t achieve what he or she would like to. This is not a new problem. But, if you want something you’ve never had ==>> then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done ==> to do this you need to deal with your self-imposed limitations and adopt a new attitude that will lead to new behaviour.

As athletes we deal with self-imposed limiting mindsets all the time. If we don’t, we’ll never break through that invisible barrier and set a new ‘personal best’. Or we’ll never beat that person we’ve never beaten. So here’s a few ways myself and others have used to help us adopt an attitude that will then help us act differently and lead to new results.

A) Visualise the positive outcome – When I’m going to the gym for a ‘testing’ session, do you think I go up to the squat rack, look at the 272.5 kg ‘personal best’ on the bar and think, I can’t lift that weight once, let alone twice or three times!? Or Wow, that looks heavy; I’ve never lifted that weight before!? Of course not! If I did, I’d never progress as an athlete. I’d never push the boundaries, improve, and move forward. Instead, during the days leading up to that testing session, then while I’m warming up, and also immediately before I put the weight on my shoulders, I close my eyes and imagine myself lifting that weight. I tell myself, You can do this. You love this. You’re strong and powerful, and this is light. This is only an extra 5 kilograms, or 2 per cent. This is easy. I do this over and over to ensure I shatter that limiting mindset and put the positive image / mindset front and centre.

B) Foster unlimited thinking – Australia’s famous Paralympian and World Sportsperson of the Year, Michael Milton (whom I feature in my book used to inspire himself to unlimited thinking in the following way … ‘I remember that with my goal-setting, I used to grab a tape measure and put a mark of 2 metres and 8 centimetres – 2.08 metres – on the wall, which is the world high-jump record for an athlete with one leg. If you can imagine a guy hopping up to a bar and then hopping over a 2 metre bar without touching it, for me that was something that always inspired me and reminded me, when setting my goals, to set the bar high so that I made sure my goal was challenging enough yet realistic.’

C) Becoming aware of your thoughts – Olympic Gold medallist Lydia Lassila describes how before she could change her thoughts she first needed to become consciously aware of all the limiting thoughts going through her brain. “If you think about even one hour in a day, there are so many thoughts going through your mind; lots of garbage and lots of thoughts that don’t serve you . . . Becoming consciously aware of all these thoughts going through your head allows you to then analyse your beliefs . . . to be able to change your thinking.”

CHALLENGE

Your outcome (something you’ve never had) ==>>
is determined by your actions (doing something you’ve never done) ==>>
and your actions are first influenced by your thoughts

So the statement at the top of this post is true, but it actually starts with your thoughts.
So my challenge is to think about the invisible hands (your thoughts) that might be first holding you back.
Thoughts around 1) Change 2) Fears 3) Limiting Mindsets

For more help and information read
A Life That Counts

Pure inspiration V – Arthur Boorman

Here’s something to start your new year off with a new mindset and inspiration.

This video shows the remarkable transformation Arthur Boorman made in his life in less than a year. Authur was a disabled veteran of the Gulf War for 15 years, and was told by his doctors that he would never be able to walk on his own – never, ever !

He stumbled upon an article about Diamond Dallas Page doing Yoga and decided to give it a try — he couldn’t do traditional, higher impact exercise, so he tried DDP YOGA and sent an email to Dallas telling him his story. Dallas was so moved by his story, he began emailing and speaking on the phone with Arthur throughout his journey – he encouraged Arthur to keep going and to believe that anything was possible. Even though doctors told him walking would never happen, Arthur was persistent. He fell many times, but kept going. As he did he not only lost a lot of weight, he gained tremendous balance and flexibility. But more than that – he gained the hope that maybe someday he’d walk again. And he did !

His story is proof, that we cannot place limits on what we are capable of doing, because we often do not know our own potential. Niether Arthur, nor Dallas knew what he would go on to accomplish, but this video speaks for itself. In less than a year, Arthur completely transformed his life. If only he had known what he was capable of, 15 years earlier !

Do not waste any time thinking you are stuck – you can take control over your life, and change it faster than you might think.

So may this video give you that injection of inspiration you need for 2013. Believe in yourself and go after your dreams – whatever they are – they might just come true !

To dare – the quest of Mt Midoriyama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYcxmJP27dc

Ninja Warrior is a reality-based television show where competitors from across the country attempt to successfully navigate extremely difficult obstacle courses as they progress through the competition. If competitors successfully pass the initial trial stages, they receive the right to attempt what is regarded as the most difficult obstacle course in the world, held at Mt. Midoriyama. Ninja Warrior is divided up into four stages each of which has several challenging obstacles. Every year, or occasionally every season, Mt. Midoriyama opens its gates to allow 100 athletes to try to take on its obstacle courses. Over 14 years and through twenty seven tournaments, only three individuals have ever succeeded. All other 2,697 Ninja Warrior attempts were met with bitter defeat. It’s an unforgiving competition, where one slip of the foot, or one mistimed jump or one mistake can de-rail and eliminate you. All of the hard work contestants have put in, all of the dreams they might have had … can be gone in a second.

Now I’m with you – the show’s name and the quest to become a ‘Ninja Warrior’ – well, it probably makes you roll your eyes doesn’t it !! But take a look at the calibre of athletes attempting this. Many of these athletes train all year long on self-designed obstacle courses just for the mere possibility of getting the chance to attempt Mt. Midoriyama. They invest their time, make sacrifices, and risk injury in the hopes of accomplishing what so few have successfully done.

While only three out of thousands have reached the pinnacle of success in this sport, there have likely been thousands more that failed to even make the attempt because of fear of failure or fear of embarrassment. When they fail at Ninja Warrior it is seldom gracefully … and it’s on national television !

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. (Soren Kierkegaard)

But take the TV cameras away and isn’t it the same thing ? … many of us would rather not attempt the obstacle course because of the high likelihood of not succeeding than have a go. And this is the point … many of us don’t dare to have a go because we want to know that we’ll be successful and achieve that goal before we even start. But that isn’t the way life works or achieving great things goes is it.

Ask anyone who has achieved anything great and they’ll tell you what the path looks like. It starts with a decision. A decision to believe and step-out even though you don’t know if you’ll achieve what you want. There are set-backs and there are disappointments along the way. It requires discipline and planning and strategy. It requires ignoring many people who find it easier to say/shout/proclaim from the sidelines that it can’t be done instead of having the guts to try it themselves. It takes developing a belief in yourself because you have to overcome not only the doubts of others, but you’re own doubts. It requires learning to ‘enjoy’ the process of the stretching and self-growth and the challenge that chasing that goal requires.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. (Robert Kennedy)

We all have our own Mt. Midoriyama we want to conquer. It could be a character trait or an event or an experience or some other sort of goal or vision we have for our lives. So here’s a few thoughts to challenge and help you conquer your own Mt. Midoriyama.

1) Be Willing to Take Risks. Most individuals are extremely risk adverse in their approach to life. Make no mistake, whether you are attempting to achieve financial success or sporting success or some other goal, you are going to have to leave your comfort zone. For example, you can’t become a successful trader by simply doing virtual trades your whole life. And you can’t become a good sailor by staying on the shore. At some point you are going to have to take a risk.

2) Doubt doubt. Do not be surprised. Unfortunately whenever you set off on your journey to achieve great things, you will not always have the support of friends, colleagues, and even family members. Do not be naive in this regard. Not everyone will embrace your journey. There will be doubters. It is easier to knock someone else down than to do it yourself. Be prepared to ignore this negativity and create a self-belief and a self-determination.

3) Be stubborn in a good way. Along your quest to conquer your Mt. Midoriyama, you will face the cold hard reality of how much you actually want it. And the answer will be very simple – you’ll either give up or you wont. You’ll either see something as an obstacle that will stop you or a barrier to your success that needs to be overcome (because you will achieve – when is the question). You see there are far too many books out there like ‘The Secret’ that espouse the ‘believe and you can achieve’ sort of philosophy. Belief is just one part of the journey. The other half is determination, hard-work, stubborness, perseverence, desire, discipline, training, willingness to critique and learn and so on. So count the cost before you start and know that when you face obstacles on your path to success, you will no doubt face the cold hard questions. What will be your answer?

Challenge
Let me leave you with one of my favourite quotes. Hopefully it is enough to get you moving and going after what you really want, or to overcome whatever it is that is holding you back.

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. (Wayne Gretzky)

Zero to hero ?

Gilbert Arena’s is an American basketball player for the Orlando Magic in the NBA. He is a 3x NAB All-Star, 3x member of the All-NBA Teams and was voted the NBA’s Most Improved Player in 2002-03.

Sounds great doesn’t it ? … well is wasn’t always great … listen to his story.

To use his own words …
My number is 0 – it reminds me of what people thought of me.
Noone believes in me anyway. So I’m going to fight for it.
Believing in myself when noone else did.
Prove everyone wrong.
1st 40 games sitting on the bench. Feeling depressed, useless, full of doubts. Tears. Pain.
Zero to hero.

My challenge:
When you want to do something great in life; when you have a vision and a dream for what you want; when you’re going after something … never be surprised that there will be doubters, sceptics, mockers and opposition. But never let anyone else’s expectations define your future. Choose to believe more in yourself than other people might believe in you. Choose to think differently. Choose to take responsibility for your own life and define your own success adn journey. These are the internal choices you will need to make. Noone will see them but these are the iron clad decisions and lines in the sand you will make inside. And from there you will add hard work, strategy, talent, perseverance and everything else it takes to get to where you want to … Just like Gilbert Arena ! From zero to hero … and your story is next …

Tell me I can no longer fly – I want you to !

Michael Jordan is one of my heroes. Not only because he is the most famous and incredible basketballer to have ever walked the planet, but also because in many ways he epitomises everything a great sportsperson (and indeed successful person) represents. Sure he is mentally tough. Sure he is talented. But he also worked extremely hard for it. It was not given to him on a silver platter. He earned every success he had.

Remember when he made a comeback to the NBA in 1995 after pursuing baseball. Everyone doubted he would be as good … well after leading Chicago to another 3 more NBA championships (96,97,98) I expect they were silenced. Then after retiring a 2nd time in 1999 he unexpectedly made a comeback to play for the Washington Wizards frpom 2001 to 2003. Again, people doubted he’s be up to it. Again, he proved them wrong.

Michael Jordan you inspire me … you inspire me to define my own path and not let others define what is possible for me or what I will do or wont do. To use your own quote “Limits, like fears, are often an illusion”.

And to add a personal touch to it, here’s the actual sign I had on my wall in my room in the Olympic Village in 2006 when I made my first Olympics and equalled the Australian record. I also had this made into a sticker and it sat in the bottom of my sled so I would see it just before I raced off the top. Inspired by people like Michael Jordan – impossible is nothing.

Pure Inspiration

Ahhhhh – life ebbs and flows and some days we feel good about ourselves and other days we feel bad about ourselves.

Today for me is one of those days. I woke up feeling sorry for myself, without much motivation, without much inspiration for anything. And then I saw this ! …

How can I ever feel sorry for myself. How can I not be inspired. Sure it is a 12 minute video, but those 12 minutes may change your life forever and these images may stay with you for a long time to come (in a good way). Amazing. Encouraging. Challenging.

You’re welcome.

Overcoming adversity

When I wrote my book ‘A Life That Counts‘ there were a couple of people I wanted in the book who I thought were inspirational but for one reason or another couldn’t be part of it. Paul Degelder is one of those inspirational people – a navy clearance diver who was attacked by a shark in Sydney Harbour. Read and watch his story and be inspired …

Sydney Morning Herald, Feb. 11, 2009. A navy diver fought off a shark as it attacked him during an anti-terrorism training exercise in Sydney Harbour, the navy says. Able Seaman Paul Degelder, 31, of the clearance diving team based at HMAS Penguin at Balmoral, is in a serious but stable condition following the attack at Woolloomooloo Bay, in Sydney’s inner east, just before 7am today. A NSW ambulance spokesman said he suffered severe injuries to his right hand and leg and is serious but stable in St Vincents Hospital. Able Seaman Degelder was taking part in the Kondari Trial, a test of new technologies to protect ports and ships from terrorist attack, which began on Monday.A spokesman for the Defence Science and Technology Organisation said it was likely the trial would be cancelled today. A defence spokesman said it was the first recorded attack on a navy clearance diver. He said no shark repellent equipment was used as the equipment was only used in water deemed to be a high risk of shark attack. Sydney Harbour had been assessed as being low risk, he said. There was also no sonar equipment being used.

I defy you not to be inspired by what he’s doing 12 months on and how he has overcome the adversity that he faced (and continues to face). And remember Paul next time you feel like throwing a pity party or skipping your workout. I know I will …

Belief

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re probably right !”

How often does our belief in ourselves hold us back ? How many times have we told ourselves we can’t do something before we’ve even tried or even started ? How many times have people believed in us more than we have believed in ourself. How often have you wished you had that unshakeable belief that champions have ? That look in your eye that Tiger Woods or Roger Federer or Jarrod Hayne or Darren Lockyer seem to have. That deep, inner conviction.

The thing is, we actually have control over this. We have control over how much we believe in ourselves. We have control over our confidence. It comes from us – not our parents, our friends, our coaches, our work colleagues or our teammates. Sure they can contribute. Their encouragement can be positive for us as easily as others views can be negative and form limiting mindsets for us (‘you can’t do that !’ or ”you’ll never amount to anything’). But we have ultimate control over our belief in ourself.

And this is important because our belief in ourself often determines what we will do or try. It determines how willing we are to overcome obstacles and keep going when the going gets tough. it contributes to our motivation. It affects our performance.

There are a number of tools we can use to develop this belief if you’re like the 99% of people in the world and don’t already have it. (Watch our for my upcoming book on my website www.jeremyrolleston.com where I go into this in depth). But as a start, try being conscious of the sort of thoughts you put into your head. Are they positive and contributing to your belief ?

Here’s a few quotes and thoughts to help you on your way …

I CAN do …
“Preparation equals confidence”
I WILL achieve …
“Be your own best friend and not your own worst enemy”
It is absolutely POSSIBLE for me to …
“It is not who you thought you were that held you back, it is who you think you’re not”

Go well and believe in yourself !

‘Dare to Dream’ and excuses

This video reminds me of the many things that hold us back from becoming all we can be. The excuses that hold us back from being all we WANT to be deep down. The little voice that derails us from fulfilling our potential. The reasons we accept that ultimately stop us from chasing and realising our dreams.

There are a number of things that hold us back. Excuses are one. Limiting mindsets and beliefs are another (whether they come from self-imposed beliefs and limitations we put on ourselves or whether they come from others opinions of what we can or can’t do). Fears are another. Fears of making a fool of ourself. Fears of failure. Fear of putting our heart on the line and opening ourself up to heartbreak. Fear of all the hard work not being worth it.

As my first blog entry the thing I most want to encourage you with is to Dare to Dream. We all have dreams. We all have a vision of how we would like our lives to be. That perfect day. That ideal future. But having the guts to step out and actually chase that dream – to dare to dream is another thing entirely. It takes courage. It takes a willingness to step out and put your dream on the line.

• So what’s holding you back from actually stepping out ?
• What are the excuses that you tell yourself that stop you from becoming all you could be ?
• What is the little voice in your head telling you that you can’t do ?
• What are the limiting beliefs you have about what you think you can or can’t do ?
• What are those things that you are fearful of that are like a chain around your ankle as you try to take steps towards your ideal future ?

Take time to audit yourself and have a think about the excuses, the fears, and the limiting mindsets and beliefs holding you back and then take the first step – make a commitment to yourself … to ‘Dare to Dream’.

This is the first but often hardest step. But most importantly it is the first step – a choice only you can make.