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Fishing without knowing it is not fish you’re after

“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after”
(Henry David Thoreau)

It’s a funny quote this isn’t it because it could be interpreted in a few ways. For me it makes me think of two things.

Firstly, the journey. In today’s society we are so goal focussed. And I’m certainly guilty of this – both as an individual and also as someone who writes on this and speaks on this a lot. But ‘guilty’ is not the right word because being purpose-driven and having a dream and chasing goals around this dream is not a bad thing at all. In fact it is a great thing. BUT, often we spend our whole lives chasing the goal (our whole lives fishing), without realising that it is not in the achievement, but in the activity itself that we find enjoyment, meaning and value. Is the contestant on The Biggest Loser proud of losing all that weight? Of course. But do they also look back and realise they are prouder of the person they’ve become through the journey that enabled them to lose that weight?! Is the Olympian proud of getting to the Olympics? Of course. But are they also proud of the journey and what it took to even qualify and get there?!

Secondly, perspective. When I wrote A Life That Counts and chose the title it was because I wanted to challenge us as to what it means to live a life that really matters and stands for something. I’m all for following my/your dreams and achieving my/your goals. I write about this and speak about this so often. But, they’re just part of the picture of life. They’re not the whole fabric. The purpose of life is far greater than our own personal fulfilment, our career and our own peace of mind. It is not measured solely by an Olympic medal, by a particular goal achieved, by how wealthy you are and what you earn, by how many twitter followers you have, or by public recognition and fame. After all, at our funeral and after we die, it’s not our achievements, our degrees, our bank balance or our fame that people will really remember and speak about. I write more about this in the last chapter of my book. What is it to live a life that counts?

Furthermore, happiness and fulfilment aren’t ‘out there’, they’re within. They’re independent of circumstance and they don’t rest solely on whether we achieve a specific goal. Succeeding in the game of life is bigger than all this. How often do we go running after things that we think will make us happy, only to realise that they don’t ultimately satisfy? The next car. The next job. The next girl or boy. The next drug. The next adventure or experience. We go fishing to catch one kind of fish and realise it doesn’t make us happy, so we try and catch another one. We spend our whole lives fishing without realising it’s not the fish that will make us happy. As a christian, it reminds me of the wise words of Jesus “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world yet forfeits his soul. And what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). For me, Jesus is the only one that could satisfy my heart and fill that God-shaped hole that I tried to fill with so many other things. He is the only one that could fill me with a peace which is unexplainable.

Many men go fishing their whole lives, without knowing it is not fish they’re after. Food for thought.

Most people …

Most people are afraid to take action.

Most people don’t care enough to make a difference.

Most people aren’t going to buy that new thing you’re selling.

Most people are too self-involved to do the generous work you’re hoping for.

Most people think they can’t afford it.

Most people won’t talk about it.

Most people aren’t going to read what you wrote.

Most people find it easier to criticise than to offer praise and encouragement.

… But you’re not most people !
And nor do you want to be most people right ?
And your best customers aren’t most people. Neither are your best supporters. Nor are those joining you on the journey.

One thing I’ve learnt over the last number of years is that when you dream big and are bold enough to dare to dream and to share that with others, it is surprising how many people are happy to tell you it can’t be done or to criticise or doubt you in some way. In fact, you’ll meet more people who’ll tell you that you can’t do something than you’ll meet people who’ll encourage you and tell you that you can. You’ll meet more people who’ll tell you that it’s a stupid idea than you’ll meet people who’ll tell you that that it’s a great idea.

There isn’t one autobiography I’ve read of people who’ve achieved amazing things who haven’t been told by people that they couldn’t do it. Think about people like Sir Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Sir Edmund Hilary, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Gai Waterhouse, Michael Milton, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Kurt Fearnley, Dr Suess, Salma Hayek, Walt Disney to name just a few. (For more examples click here).

And so I’ve learnt that it is a choice to have self-belief and not be limited by other people’s expectations or opinions. It’s a choice to ignore them and believe in something different that’s inside you, to believe you can do it rather than that you can’t. It’s a choice to choose to not be most people.

Challenge
Don’t be like most people.
In any case you’re unique and there’s only one of you in the entire world.

Pure Inspiration IV – Sung-bong Choi

I’m in tears as I write this. This is pure inspiration – exactly what I want this blog to provide. To give you and I together another dose of inspiration for our week.

And what a dose of inspiration it is. An example of how your past doesn’t define your future. An example of guts and inner fortitude, but also of good decisions. Consider the courage it took to get himself off the street; the courage to take any singing lessons in the first place; and the massive courage to go on the show when Sung-bong thought he was an average singer (even if he was wrong !). An example of the dignity of a young man and the honest compassion of the judges.

May you be inspired to not let your past define your future and to go after your dreams with all you have.

To dare – the quest of Mt Midoriyama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYcxmJP27dc

Ninja Warrior is a reality-based television show where competitors from across the country attempt to successfully navigate extremely difficult obstacle courses as they progress through the competition. If competitors successfully pass the initial trial stages, they receive the right to attempt what is regarded as the most difficult obstacle course in the world, held at Mt. Midoriyama. Ninja Warrior is divided up into four stages each of which has several challenging obstacles. Every year, or occasionally every season, Mt. Midoriyama opens its gates to allow 100 athletes to try to take on its obstacle courses. Over 14 years and through twenty seven tournaments, only three individuals have ever succeeded. All other 2,697 Ninja Warrior attempts were met with bitter defeat. It’s an unforgiving competition, where one slip of the foot, or one mistimed jump or one mistake can de-rail and eliminate you. All of the hard work contestants have put in, all of the dreams they might have had … can be gone in a second.

Now I’m with you – the show’s name and the quest to become a ‘Ninja Warrior’ – well, it probably makes you roll your eyes doesn’t it !! But take a look at the calibre of athletes attempting this. Many of these athletes train all year long on self-designed obstacle courses just for the mere possibility of getting the chance to attempt Mt. Midoriyama. They invest their time, make sacrifices, and risk injury in the hopes of accomplishing what so few have successfully done.

While only three out of thousands have reached the pinnacle of success in this sport, there have likely been thousands more that failed to even make the attempt because of fear of failure or fear of embarrassment. When they fail at Ninja Warrior it is seldom gracefully … and it’s on national television !

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. (Soren Kierkegaard)

But take the TV cameras away and isn’t it the same thing ? … many of us would rather not attempt the obstacle course because of the high likelihood of not succeeding than have a go. And this is the point … many of us don’t dare to have a go because we want to know that we’ll be successful and achieve that goal before we even start. But that isn’t the way life works or achieving great things goes is it.

Ask anyone who has achieved anything great and they’ll tell you what the path looks like. It starts with a decision. A decision to believe and step-out even though you don’t know if you’ll achieve what you want. There are set-backs and there are disappointments along the way. It requires discipline and planning and strategy. It requires ignoring many people who find it easier to say/shout/proclaim from the sidelines that it can’t be done instead of having the guts to try it themselves. It takes developing a belief in yourself because you have to overcome not only the doubts of others, but you’re own doubts. It requires learning to ‘enjoy’ the process of the stretching and self-growth and the challenge that chasing that goal requires.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. (Robert Kennedy)

We all have our own Mt. Midoriyama we want to conquer. It could be a character trait or an event or an experience or some other sort of goal or vision we have for our lives. So here’s a few thoughts to challenge and help you conquer your own Mt. Midoriyama.

1) Be Willing to Take Risks. Most individuals are extremely risk adverse in their approach to life. Make no mistake, whether you are attempting to achieve financial success or sporting success or some other goal, you are going to have to leave your comfort zone. For example, you can’t become a successful trader by simply doing virtual trades your whole life. And you can’t become a good sailor by staying on the shore. At some point you are going to have to take a risk.

2) Doubt doubt. Do not be surprised. Unfortunately whenever you set off on your journey to achieve great things, you will not always have the support of friends, colleagues, and even family members. Do not be naive in this regard. Not everyone will embrace your journey. There will be doubters. It is easier to knock someone else down than to do it yourself. Be prepared to ignore this negativity and create a self-belief and a self-determination.

3) Be stubborn in a good way. Along your quest to conquer your Mt. Midoriyama, you will face the cold hard reality of how much you actually want it. And the answer will be very simple – you’ll either give up or you wont. You’ll either see something as an obstacle that will stop you or a barrier to your success that needs to be overcome (because you will achieve – when is the question). You see there are far too many books out there like ‘The Secret’ that espouse the ‘believe and you can achieve’ sort of philosophy. Belief is just one part of the journey. The other half is determination, hard-work, stubborness, perseverence, desire, discipline, training, willingness to critique and learn and so on. So count the cost before you start and know that when you face obstacles on your path to success, you will no doubt face the cold hard questions. What will be your answer?

Challenge
Let me leave you with one of my favourite quotes. Hopefully it is enough to get you moving and going after what you really want, or to overcome whatever it is that is holding you back.

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. (Wayne Gretzky)

A Life That Counts – part II – no limits

You might a past post I wrote following Steve Jobs death and a recent post of mine where I was reflecting on where I was going and what I was doing as I create the life that I want. And you might remember me giving myself a bit of an uppercut given I’ve written a book about all this ! 🙂

Well after that uppercut, came this … a hit over the head !!!!

How can you not be fired up by this ? Or is it just me? Enjoy and be inspired and challenged.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He5A9dvUP-s

How to determine the price of anything

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it”

It’s true. When I was training for my first Olympics everything came second – relationships, work, my social life, my finances. Sure I would try to create balance in there and juggle all the balls in the air as best I could. BUT, if it came down to it, I knew which decision I’d make. It was clear. I would sacrifice and give up to reach my goal / dream. I exchanged a lot of life to achieve that goal. It extracted a high price … but it was worth it.

It’s funny though. I saw the other side recently. I went to the London Olympic Games athlete farewell dinner. It is always inspiring and motivating as you see videos and hear interviews with current and past athletes. (Bring on the London Olympics !)

Olympic athletes farewell dinner video

In fact at one of these dinners 3 years ago I remember hosting a corporate table (each athlete is assigned to host a corporate sponsors table) and I remember thinking – “I don’t want to be one of these business guys sitting here on the table – there’s plenty of time for that. I want to be the athlete. And in any case, when you’re retired, you’re retired for a long time !” And in that moment I decided to come out of retirement and began training for Vancouver 2010 … And despite what happened in the race in Vancouver, I have no regrets. I’m glad I did it. The price I paid was fine. The life I exchanged for achieving my dream was worth it – despite the way it turned out.

So there I was at this London Olympic team athletes farewell dinner, having just recently retired a few months ago. I was inspired. I was motivated. But I knew that this time I wasn’t going to come out of retirement as the price was too high. I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice my career any longer; or commit all those hours to that hard training; or put relationships second; or to put all that money into training / travelling / equipment; or to always make apologies for social events or leave early if I did go. Simply put, the price was now too high. The opportunity cost was too high. I was and am no longer prepared to exchange that same amount of life in order to get to my 3rd Olympics in Sochi.

And don’t we see this in all areas of our lives … we see marriages breaking down as people work longer hours and are never home. They exchange a lot of life to be successful in business – but is the exchange and the price you paid worth it ? We see people become stupidly body conscious. We see people pursuing money at any cost – even of their own integrity. It’s always an exchange isn’t it.

“It’s true … the price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it … food for thought !”

Whatever you do … make good art !

I’ve had a day at home today and done a few interesting things. One was to do an Instinctive Drivers questionnaire which looks at what my natural drivers, ways of thinking and methods are. Many call this someone’s ‘flow’. When it feels easy. When it feels instinctual. The other things I did is sat and listen to a commencement address by Neil Gaiman to the University of the Arts. And once again it made me think about my life and what I’m doing and where I’m heading. So here for your enjoyment is Neil’s commencement address.

I’ll let Neil speak for himself but here’s some of the things I found challenging or instructive or inspiring (my words) …

If you are naive or don’t know things and hence don’t know things are impossible then that’s a good thing as then it’s easier to do as you’re not bound by other people’s expectations or rules or paradigms
Am I settling ? Doing what I have to do before doing what I want to do ? (People like Neil and Steve Jobs sound very similar. they love what they do. It doesn’t feel like work. What is that for me ?)
Imagine where you want to be – like a distant mountain. As long as you are walking towards the mountain then you’re on the track and that’s OK.
Everyone will face the problems of disappointment, failure and disillusionment – they are part of the journey. So learning how to deal with these and get over them is part of the journey too
Be wise and if you can’t be wise, then pretend you are wise and do what they would do !
Enjoy the journey. seriously – don’t worry. Enjoy the journey.

Challenge: How does this encourage, inspire or challenge you ?

A Life That Counts

I’m at an interesting juncture right now. I am leaving my current job after realising it was the antithesis of the organisation I want to work for and the culture that I thrive in. So much so that it was a big contributor to me ending up sick with glandular fever. But I digress :). So at moments like these I started to reflect as you often do. Am I heading in the right direction ? Is what I’m doing going to count for something ? Am I just doing what I’m doing because that is what I know and it is the easier and safer path ? Is this what I really want to do ? What do I want to do ? My future is in my own hands and is the result of the decisions that I will make today … but what do I want it to look like ?

Well after some reflection and some proactive steps including catching up with a few of my mentors and an executive coach … a few things are clear … I do not have a crystal clear picture of what I want my future to look like – but I do have do a hazy one. And I have figured out over the years that that is just fine. My future path may not be absolutely straight and paved as I look ahead, but I am going to make sure I am certainly travelling in the right direction and making decisions that are getting me closer to where I want to go and to creating the mosaic of the life I dream.You see I know what I generally want my life to look like. I know what I want it to feel like. I know what I want to see around me. And I know that I want to make a difference – to do something significant – to avoid just going with the flow. To create something that outlives my life. To do something that engages my heart. To do something more than work my butt off to effectively push my companies share price up. To do something where the results are tangible and the testimonies are irrefutable.

So I think it is time to take a note out of my own book A Life That Counts. To continue to dream. To have the courage to follow my heart. To make plans and actively create the life I dream (without rules and other people’s expectations defining what it will look like). To be wise but not too sensible. To make the little decisions that will ad up to the big things. To believe that my future will look exactly like the vision board on my wall. To train my speech and my thoughts to support this and not to tear it down. To enjoy the journey for life is short and could end tomorrow. And to make a difference.

So Jeremy – note to self. You wrote a flipping book about this so make sure you are continuing to live by the very pages you wrote.

And for those of you who haven’t read my book ‘A Life That Counts’ – buy it here and always feel free to tell me to take a leaf out of my own book. After all I want to live an extraordinary life, with purpose and significance and along the way (like the quote at the top says) create a legacy that will live forever.

Fire up people ! … and fire me up along the way !

Pay the bucket list forward

You might remember a recent post of mine that people enjoyed – my bucket list. Quite the list and quite revealing in many ways. Well, it is so exciting for me to know that that post inspired a few good friends to write theirs. So here is another blog to inspire, challenge and encourage you to write yours … to take control of your life, to dream, to be purpose driven, to think about the things you’d love to do or try and achieve, the things to do before you try.

Do you remember Ness’s – 30 things before 30 !!!

Well here’s another friends bucket list – the newly engaged Alicia Loveless’s bucket list. I’m proud of you and it is an honour to have you inspire others on my blog – http://thisbeachlife.com/2012/01/06/bucket-list/

My challenge

So write your list and post it either here or on your own blog. And in doing so you’ll be paying it forward by inspiring others to write theirs … over to you …

A Final Thought

Remember, who cares if tick off everything on your bucket list. It isn’t a shopping list !!! But what a ride you’ll have as you go about creating the mosaic of the life you dream of and doing the things you want. After all, remember, 20 years from now you’ll be more disappointed by the things you DIDN’T do than by the things you did !!!

A sign …

I hope you’re smiling and I hope you’re challenged !