positive thoughts Archives | jeremyrolleston.com

Are you happy ? … how to get happiness

Happiness. We all want to be happy don't we. It's on top of all of our lists when it comes to things we want in our life. And its the same for everyone – regardless of where you live in the world; no matter how rich or poor you are; no matter your background or your age – we all want to be happy.

The question then is how ? Some try and achieve it through money and wealth (buying happiness). Others through service and charity. Others through achievements. Others through meditation. Others through drugs and alcohol. Others through relationships and sex.

So what makes you happy ? Perhaps you remember a past blog I wrote on happiness where I shared some findings around happiness. Some of the key points I wrote about were:

Surprisingly, according to this research, genetics play a bigger role than we would have first thought in our happiness. And yet, life's circumstances (our wealth, material possessions, what happens to us) play a much smaller role than we would have first thought. It is why a Masai herdsman can be as happy as a multi-millionaire (see details here). Or why a lottery winner and a paraplegic can return to the same previous long-term happiness level (see this article and see here).
Most importantly, a big part of our happiness is determined by our intentional activity – what we think and what we do. And the good news is that this is in our control – so in this way happiness is a choice. So if we find and use strategies focussed on increasing our happiness (exercise gratitude, enjoy pleasurable activities, improve your stress management skills, manage and harness your thoughts, focussing on those things and those people that make you happy, make sure you are striving after the right goals for the right reasons etc) it can have a big effect.

So with that in mind, here's a couple of thoughts from my life experience so far as to things you can do that will contribute to being happier.

1. Realise that it's your life and that you (and noone else) is responsible for your happiness. This sounds so chiche, but it's true. You along know what makes you happy. You alone cultivate those things in your life. You alone do those activities, and surround yourself with those people, and think those thoughts, and make those decisions that contribute to your happiness. You alone create the happy life you dream of. You and not someone else.

2. Don't live your life by other people's expectations or to try to please everyone. Don't live to please others. And don't live by their expectations and their comments. You'll never please everyone anyway and it honestly doesn't really matter that they think anyway. Live your life by the beat of your own drum. Live your life how you want to and on your terms.

3. Quit worrying. What will worrying add to your life? It is time and energy invested in what you think and hope wont happen, and may not actually happen. Worrying achieves absolutely nothing. It isn't productive. It wastes precious time. It is destructive in many cases. And it puts your focus in the wrong direction. Learn to quit worrying and you'll be a whole lot happier.

4. You can't buy happiness. Never forget that the best things in life truly are free. Health. Love. Relationships. Satsfaction. Enjoyment. Purpose. Happiness. You can't buy these. We try and fill our life with things that give us 'momentary' pleasure. And in many respects these 'things' complicate our lives. Life is simpler than that. And happiness is simpler than that too – despite what the world tries to tell us.

My Challenge
What makes you happy ? Find out. Cultivate and embrace these things. Implement them in your life. And let your happiness be the judge and proof of if they make a difference.

Feeling down ? Feeling sorry for yourself ? Read this !

Some days you just need to be reminded how lucky and fortunate you are. It just gives you a good dose of perspective. A kick in the butt in a good way … so be inspired …stop feeling sorry for yourself. Realise how lucky you are with all the things you have and all the things you’ve done and all the things you’ve wanted that you’ve got. Pick yourself up, smile and take this image with you as you head on into today or tomorrow.

Controlling my wild mind and stopping the weeds from growing

It always amazes me how quickly our body and mind tend back to the old ways. It’s like a garden that you work hard on to get to look beautiful. You spend all that time and effort getting rid of the weeds and then the moment you leave it those damn weeds start to grow again and before long, if you leave it, you have a wild overgrown garden again.

For me that’s the same as my body and mind.

Over the years I have received lots of comments from people saying they wish they had half the will power, determination and dedication that I have. But when they say it, I know that that may be the case right then (say in the middle of training and preparing for the Olympics). But I know how easily I tend back to just like everyone else. Making excuses. Running through the list of why I should not do something – like “I’m too tired”, “I’ll just work extra hard tomorrow”, “I couldn’t be bothered”, “Eating this won’t effect me that much”, etc! The weeds grow back pretty quickly !!!

Excuses are a human tendency. That little voice is always there. And it will never go away. No matter what people say or perceive or the comments that I’ve had – I know we’re all the same. Your mind is a wild animal unless you learn to control your thoughts. The weeds will always grow. So unfortunately there is no easy fix. You need to choose to overrule these thoughts.

Your mind can take you as far as you want to go in life or you can decided to limit your existence and waste all of your potential. You choose. To transform yourself inside and out is painful. Straight up. But the pain of change is only temporary, where the pain of staying where you are, drowning in unhappiness, lasts a lifetime.

So here’s some thoughts on controlling your wild mind and not letting the weeds grow !

1. You need a dream or goal – If you do not have something in life that you are working towards, you’re dead! So find that dream. Find that thing you want to do. You may have forgotten about it or considered it impossible. I have proof that if you decide to go after something with everything you’ve got, envisioning success in every moment, regardless of what you see or feel in the natural – you can achieve anything! After all , what is an Aussie boy who lives at Manly doing competing in the snow and ice in bobsleigh in the Olympics. And hopefully there is lots of inspiration throughout this blog to get you moving along this path.

2. It always starts with a decision – In the moment that you have the opportunity to either decide to do something that brings you closer to your goal or to decide to make 10,000 excuses why you should avoid the choice that you know you should make, tell yourself to shut up and win that moment. As you increase the moments that you win as opposed to giving in, eventually you will wake up a different person.

3. Become aware of your thinking – become aware of the excuses running through your brain and the self-talk inside your head.

4. One brick at a time – Once you’re aware of your thinking you can practice overruling them. You can’t just snap your fingers and change your way of thinking, you need to start small and practice on little things. Day by day. Decision by decision. Building up your mental toughness one brick at a time. It’s like doing a little bit of gardening every day !

4. Some practical tips – Here’s some tips from a past blog on HOW to conquer that little voice

So good luck. I believe in you!

Rollo

"If I should have a daughter, instead of Mum, she's gonna call me Point B … "

Something a little different for your this week … spoken poetry – by Sarah Kay.

What I hear you say. Jeremy – you’ve changed ! Ah, but be careful not to judge a book by its cover – it is not everyone who gets a standing ovation when they give a TED talk !

So, enjoy and don’t forget the lessons here contained amongst the verse. May it challenge, inspire and encourage.

If I should have a daughter

Belief

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re probably right !”

How often does our belief in ourselves hold us back ? How many times have we told ourselves we can’t do something before we’ve even tried or even started ? How many times have people believed in us more than we have believed in ourself. How often have you wished you had that unshakeable belief that champions have ? That look in your eye that Tiger Woods or Roger Federer or Jarrod Hayne or Darren Lockyer seem to have. That deep, inner conviction.

The thing is, we actually have control over this. We have control over how much we believe in ourselves. We have control over our confidence. It comes from us – not our parents, our friends, our coaches, our work colleagues or our teammates. Sure they can contribute. Their encouragement can be positive for us as easily as others views can be negative and form limiting mindsets for us (‘you can’t do that !’ or ”you’ll never amount to anything’). But we have ultimate control over our belief in ourself.

And this is important because our belief in ourself often determines what we will do or try. It determines how willing we are to overcome obstacles and keep going when the going gets tough. it contributes to our motivation. It affects our performance.

There are a number of tools we can use to develop this belief if you’re like the 99% of people in the world and don’t already have it. (Watch our for my upcoming book on my website www.jeremyrolleston.com where I go into this in depth). But as a start, try being conscious of the sort of thoughts you put into your head. Are they positive and contributing to your belief ?

Here’s a few quotes and thoughts to help you on your way …

I CAN do …
“Preparation equals confidence”
I WILL achieve …
“Be your own best friend and not your own worst enemy”
It is absolutely POSSIBLE for me to …
“It is not who you thought you were that held you back, it is who you think you’re not”

Go well and believe in yourself !