self-talk Archives | jeremyrolleston.com

Words have the power to start wars or create peace

I think we often underestimate the power of language.

Words have the power to start wars or create peace, destroy relationships or strengthen them.
They are far more powerful and have far more affect than we often think. That goes both for words that others speak to us or self-talk.

I was recently running some workshops for elite athletes at the Institute of Sport and was explaining this to them in a sporting context. I was explaining to them that our words and language affects our thoughts. Our thoughts affect our emotions. Our emotions affect our actions. For example, for an athlete, if they’re on the starting line telling themselves that they feel tired and the person in the lane next to them will probably win, don’t you think that those thoughts will affect their emotions and expectations? And these will most definitely affect their performance. Similarly in normal everyday life – if we think we don’t deserve something do you think that will affect the drive that we have for going after that thing.

How we feel about anything (our emotions) is shaped by the meaning we attach to it. And the words you consciously or unconsciously select (our words) to describe a situation immediately change what it means to you and thus how you feel.

So choose your words carefully. They are far more powerful than you think.
They have the power to start wars or create peace.
They have the power to destroy relationships or strengthen them.
They can build up children or tear them down.
They have the power to stick with someone, wound them and affect their actions years down the track.

Challenge
What words are you speaking to others ?
What words are you speaking to yourself ?

Controlling my wild mind and stopping the weeds from growing

It always amazes me how quickly our body and mind tend back to the old ways. It’s like a garden that you work hard on to get to look beautiful. You spend all that time and effort getting rid of the weeds and then the moment you leave it those damn weeds start to grow again and before long, if you leave it, you have a wild overgrown garden again.

For me that’s the same as my body and mind.

Over the years I have received lots of comments from people saying they wish they had half the will power, determination and dedication that I have. But when they say it, I know that that may be the case right then (say in the middle of training and preparing for the Olympics). But I know how easily I tend back to just like everyone else. Making excuses. Running through the list of why I should not do something – like “I’m too tired”, “I’ll just work extra hard tomorrow”, “I couldn’t be bothered”, “Eating this won’t effect me that much”, etc! The weeds grow back pretty quickly !!!

Excuses are a human tendency. That little voice is always there. And it will never go away. No matter what people say or perceive or the comments that I’ve had – I know we’re all the same. Your mind is a wild animal unless you learn to control your thoughts. The weeds will always grow. So unfortunately there is no easy fix. You need to choose to overrule these thoughts.

Your mind can take you as far as you want to go in life or you can decided to limit your existence and waste all of your potential. You choose. To transform yourself inside and out is painful. Straight up. But the pain of change is only temporary, where the pain of staying where you are, drowning in unhappiness, lasts a lifetime.

So here’s some thoughts on controlling your wild mind and not letting the weeds grow !

1. You need a dream or goal – If you do not have something in life that you are working towards, you’re dead! So find that dream. Find that thing you want to do. You may have forgotten about it or considered it impossible. I have proof that if you decide to go after something with everything you’ve got, envisioning success in every moment, regardless of what you see or feel in the natural – you can achieve anything! After all , what is an Aussie boy who lives at Manly doing competing in the snow and ice in bobsleigh in the Olympics. And hopefully there is lots of inspiration throughout this blog to get you moving along this path.

2. It always starts with a decision – In the moment that you have the opportunity to either decide to do something that brings you closer to your goal or to decide to make 10,000 excuses why you should avoid the choice that you know you should make, tell yourself to shut up and win that moment. As you increase the moments that you win as opposed to giving in, eventually you will wake up a different person.

3. Become aware of your thinking – become aware of the excuses running through your brain and the self-talk inside your head.

4. One brick at a time – Once you’re aware of your thinking you can practice overruling them. You can’t just snap your fingers and change your way of thinking, you need to start small and practice on little things. Day by day. Decision by decision. Building up your mental toughness one brick at a time. It’s like doing a little bit of gardening every day !

4. Some practical tips – Here’s some tips from a past blog on HOW to conquer that little voice

So good luck. I believe in you!

Rollo

Belief

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re probably right !”

How often does our belief in ourselves hold us back ? How many times have we told ourselves we can’t do something before we’ve even tried or even started ? How many times have people believed in us more than we have believed in ourself. How often have you wished you had that unshakeable belief that champions have ? That look in your eye that Tiger Woods or Roger Federer or Jarrod Hayne or Darren Lockyer seem to have. That deep, inner conviction.

The thing is, we actually have control over this. We have control over how much we believe in ourselves. We have control over our confidence. It comes from us – not our parents, our friends, our coaches, our work colleagues or our teammates. Sure they can contribute. Their encouragement can be positive for us as easily as others views can be negative and form limiting mindsets for us (‘you can’t do that !’ or ”you’ll never amount to anything’). But we have ultimate control over our belief in ourself.

And this is important because our belief in ourself often determines what we will do or try. It determines how willing we are to overcome obstacles and keep going when the going gets tough. it contributes to our motivation. It affects our performance.

There are a number of tools we can use to develop this belief if you’re like the 99% of people in the world and don’t already have it. (Watch our for my upcoming book on my website www.jeremyrolleston.com where I go into this in depth). But as a start, try being conscious of the sort of thoughts you put into your head. Are they positive and contributing to your belief ?

Here’s a few quotes and thoughts to help you on your way …

I CAN do …
“Preparation equals confidence”
I WILL achieve …
“Be your own best friend and not your own worst enemy”
It is absolutely POSSIBLE for me to …
“It is not who you thought you were that held you back, it is who you think you’re not”

Go well and believe in yourself !