Jeremy Rolleston’s Blog | jeremyrolleston.com

The Innocent Project – it’s not where you start but where you finish ! (II)

You watched the first part of Dewey Bozella’s story last week. Now see the second part – him accepting his 2011 Arthur Ashe award for courage. What an amazing man !

“… never let fear determine who you are
never let where you come from determine where you’re going”

Remember what I wrote last week – CHOICES & IT’S NOT WHERE YOU START BUT HOW YOU FINISH.

Now add the quote above and see and hear Dewey is his acceptance speech. Carry him and his attitude with you when life doesn’t make sense and when things aren’t going your way !

Not all that glitters is gold !

Elite professional sports people are some of the most dedicated people on the planet. I know this from the inside as I’ve been a full-time athlete in two sports and spent half my life around elite sportspeople. High performers can be found in any area – from mucisians, to doctors, to florists, to teachers. But my experience is in sport.

These elite athletes place their bodies on the line and commit themselves 100% to their sport. They live, breathe, eat, drink, sleep it. They put the rest of their life on hold as they prioritise training and competing above all else. Most people look from afar and wish they could live that life – an exciting life of travel, fame, money, adulation, following your passion and getting paid for it, achievement and the pride of representing your country.

But here’s the thing … whilst I wouldn’t change it for the world, not all the glitters is gold.
Here’s a lesson I’ve learnt along the way:

Success. Highlights videos. Medal ceremonies. Smiling faces. Sponsored cars. Television interviews. Signing autographs. Entry to great parties and events. Travel. The cheers of the crowd. Fame and profile.
Good hey … wouldn’t you want that ? … Absolutely !

But how about this ? Getting up at 5:30am to train when you don’t feel like it. Constantly watching your diet. The pain of pushing yourself. Missing weddings, parties, BBQs to go to bed early or because you’re travelling. Rehab for injuries. The monotony of training, training and more training. Feeling sore. Competing in rain and snow and minus 18 degree temperatures. All the work to prepare the sleds and polish runners. Dealing with the disappointment of non-performance or non-selection after you’ve sacrificed so much.
Good hey … wouldn’t you want that ? … well most people couldn’t be bothered.

There is a saying that says “Everyone desires to be a champion, but only champions have the desire to prepare.”

And to me that speaks of hardwork, perseverence, and discipline. Talent is never enough. Greatness isn’t born. Highly successful people do not just ‘become’ successful – they earn it. There are no shortcuts to success or achieving anything worthwhile. The ‘Secret’ and wishing the ferrari into your drive doesn’t work. We want it to because we’d rather shy away from the hard work and take the easy path. That’s natural, but it isn’t the way of things. It is more glamorous on the outside than the inside.

Consider the perseverence of some of the greatest achievers like Hannibal, Walt Disney, Christopher Columbus, J.K. Rowling, Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln.

So my challenge to you is this … you want the ‘gold’ (whatever that is). But what are you prepared to do to get it? Because on the inside it is a very different story and experience !

The silent assassin – fear !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTl3U6aSd2w

The video this week is one that I use in many of my talks. More of something to lighten the mood up usually – what an incredible add hey !

But I do think there is a very important lesson we can learn from this.

” Courage is not the failure to recognise fear;

it is the refusal to accept its offer”

(Anonymous)

I have faced a number of fears and it is one of the most stretching, but empowering things you can do.

I am scared of heights and in 2002 I went ice-climbing in NZ. I will never forget it. You think that you are constantly climbing but in reality because you are tied by a rope to your partner, you have to wait whilst they climb up there 50m before you then climb your next leg of 50m. And then once again you wait. High up on a mountain. While the wind buffets you. Whilst you have too much time to think and get scared. Whilst you have time to look down and freak out. I’ll never forget climbing one mountain on the corner of the ice, with a massive 1000m drop one side and 400m the other side (if I fell the other climber had to hurl himself off the other side so the rope would cut into the ice and to stop me falling to my death). Fun ? Not in my books. I was yelling out aloud to myself, willing my mind and body to conquer my fear and keep going. And all the time the fear gripped me, whilst for others, it was seemingly not an issue.

And then in bobsleigh, when you’re at the top of every track, you have to learn to conquer your fear. To master your emotions. Especially when it is your first time ever down the track and you have no sense of what it will feel like. And then again when it is your first time down that track from the very top. There is no room for error and you always have fear right there beside you.

But here is the lesson I have learnt. And it is the same lesson that Rugby league International Jason Stevens spoke about in my book A Life That Counts when he described the feeling before State of origin games. And that is – that the fear never goes away. The difference is that you learn to do it afraid.

Challenge – So, let me encourage you. There are fears holding you back from going after your dreams and chasing what you want. They will likely never go away. The difference will be whether you are prepared to go after them despite your fears, and to learn to do it afraid.

Driven by the pot of gold !

This is an extremely interesting video because it speaks of a couple of themes that I wrote about in my book ‘A life That Counts’.

Purpose Driven – each of us is unique. There is no one like us in the entire world. We have unique talents, characteristics, personality and make-up. And that is foundational for us to believe we have been designed for a purpose. Every one of us has an inkling that we were born for something bigger. And that drives us as much as chasing the pot of gold and being driven by money.

Deep Motivation – I have written before about how we are not driven solely by our words and thoughts. That emotions and feelings play a significant role. In fact, our emotions are our strongest, most powerful driver, and often drive us in unconscious ways, well before we are consciously aware of it. eg You don’t need to think about being hungry or tired or scared or embarrassed. These just happen unconsciously and it affects our emotions and our physiology. What this means is that our emotions (our heart) are our primary driver of motivation. This is reflected in deep passion as opposed to conscious motivation (trying to talk yourself into being motivated). That is where the expression comes from – ‘the heart is the strongest muscle in the body’. So never forget that we are driven more by our emotions than by anything conscious. (Knowing your ‘why’ and your purpose are reflections of this). With that in mind, is it such a surprise what this video talks about ? is it such a surprise that the carrot (eg money) or the stick (eg sacking) that most employers try to drive us with are not as effective as they might otherwise think ?

Making a difference – we all have a deep seated desire to make a difference in this world. To leave a legacy. To help others. To live a purposeful and significant life above our own. To live a life that counts ! This is not so surprising. So let’s embrace it and make a difference. For surely the world needs it. And after all – a waterfall starts with a raindrop. Every little bit helps. Be the difference you want to see in the world and let that reflect in your personal world as well as in how that translates into your business world with your staff / colleagues / how you do business.

Fire up and have a great week !

The Peru Bull Fight

Today’s blog is a little lighter. A bit of humour for you. Can you believe this. The things we do for fun hey !

Hope you’re smiling and have a great day.

Pure Inspiration II

Kurt Fearley

Well what more do I need to say ?

Here's to the crazy ones !

apple ad think different 2

This video is interesting because it speaks of a number of things …

It speaks of knowing and finding the core, authentic you. That unique person that you were created to be, with your own interests, characteristics, talents, personality traits. After all, never forget, there is no one like you in the entire world. You are completely unique. Fashioned for a purpose. It is just up to you to find out what that is.
It speaks of never being afraid to be different. Of not being conformed and constrained by the limits that society places on us. The ‘should do’s’ and the ‘shouldn’t do’s’ that we’re bombarded with. The limiting mindsets and opinions that others like to place on us. The conventional thinking and the herd mentality that we so easily adopt.
It speaks of the process of initiating and inventing and creating. And it reminds me of the process of adopting change (Rogers model for the adoption of innovations) where at first people say that is crazy and ridiculous and then they sceptically try it out, before the majority finally adopt it and come to believe what the early adopters and investors said in the first place but were ridiculed for. Think about Bill Gates or ipads or iphones.
And it also speaks about how ‘Apple’ were positioning themselves in their advertising. They knew they were branding themselves as different thinkers. As being different. Speaking to early adopters. They knew their brand was about innovation and new and different. They knew ‘why’ they did what they did and ads like this merely brought this view to life. Very clever. Very effective.

Be inspired and be you ! The world needs it.

My bucket list – things to do before I die

I love inspiring people and one of the reasons I love inspiring people is that it forces me (in a good way) to be living what I’m speaking. To follow my dreams too so it is never a case of ‘do as I say / write and not as I do’. To date I feel so grateful that I can say I really have followed my dreams and I don’t sit here with any regrets. I wish there were 36 hours in every day or that I could have my twenties again because I would happily have pursued some other paths I know I would have also enjoyed. But honestly – it has been a great, rewarding and satisfying journey TO DATE. I want to die in a huff. To be ashes rather than dust. To live an incredible life without regret, to make a difference and to live a life that inspires others.

So with that in mind, here’s an ever evolving list of things to do before I die … my bucket list …

visit every continent
write a book
become a lifeguard
speak in front of more than 10,000 people
become an Olympian and compete at the Olympics
learn to play guitar
go sea-kayaking through some of the south pacific islands
learn to fly a helicopter
drive and navigate around non-english speaking countries. Arrive in a country without knowing where to stay and figure it out.
own my own horse and totally bond with it in natural horsemanship ways
get a tube whilst surfing
put my feet in every ocean
Meet the woman of my dreams. Exceedingly, abundantly, more than I can ever ask or imagine. My soul mate. My best friend.
feel half confident in the kitchen and even enjoy cooking
be as fit as someone ten years my junior. Continue to do so.
live in another country where English isn’t the first language
Speak another language fluently
Travel to a 3rd world country and visit projects that I know I have instigated in my philanthropic/charity based executive role. Know that I am making a massive difference in their lives. Stop, enjoy and be satisfied and content.
Do an annual holiday with friends
spent more time with grandma
host a dinner party with some amazing people invited eg the likes of Nelson Mandella, Anthony Robbins, people that absolutely inspire me.
Live in a ski resort and do a ski-season
Feel like I’m one of those few that is actually living my dream. Not conformed by what society tells you you should do. Construct my own life.
be a professional sportsman
say grace at the table with my own family
take more photos
institute the jeremy rolleston cocktail half hour / jeremy rolleston date night
live such an amazing, inspiring and influential life that they make a ‘This is Your Life’ about me.
See someone get a cataract operation that I have paid for and go in blind and come out seeing !
Run a 1 day seminar that is packed out and people get a lot out of and is successful (as measured by their response)
Do something that people thought was absolutely left field and impossible for me to do and do it successfully – The Propeller Fashion Show
Do a dirtbike trip with mates.
So a surfing trip with mates.
Get an incredible mentor in my life
Get a massage every week
Have a very random conversation to an old person in a pub, hear their story and realise they are amazing and that it was my privilege to have that conversation

Stay tuned !

Overcoming disappointment – stages of grief

If there is one thing I know a bit about it is overcoming disappointment. And if sport is a microcosm of life then I’ve had it in spades.

First there was snapping my posterior Cruciate Ligament whilst playing for the Australian legends (Australia B) rugby sevens side in Fiji. This was two weeks before the Hong Kong World Cup sevens tournament. It was my dream to play for Australia in the World Cup. So to get the call a few days after my return saying I had been picked, only to have to pull out with injury, was devastating. IMy dream was shattered. I never got my Wallaby jersey and I never got a look in again.

Then there was the Vancouver Olympics – my 2nd Winter Olympic Games. I was in the best shape of my life, driving the notorious and controversial track well, and ready to have the race of my life. And then I crashed in bizarre circumstances in front of the world. If only the ground could have swallowed me up. And then to have to pull out of the 4m and forgo the chance of redemption (sport i made for overcoming stories like that) was devastating. Was I really going to retire after that ?

So in light of that, one of the useful things to understand is the actual and natural stages of grief that you will go through. Here’s a video to help you smile at the same time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spa_ASeHc0

So to recap, here’s the stages with some explanation:

Comprehension – when what you thought was going to happen and what actually happens don’t line up, your brain tries to cope with this by reacting in a number of ways. These include shock, going into your shell, denial or a sense of numbness like you are in an unreal dream. There is little you can do at this point whilst your brain adjusts.
Emotion – the powerful emotions of sadness, anger, loss and grief will then take over. You can’t ignore these emotions. Just ride them out and look for comfort and support.
Reason / Bargaining – to move on you need to break the endless repetitive cycle of thoughts and bargaining and emotions that will drag you down and keep your initial emotional response going long after it should have stopped. You need to resolve and come to a conclusion on what happened. Perhaps the conclusion is that ‘you just don’t know, crap happens, and you will never know the reason why’. Or perhaps there will be a more constructive conclusion that you can reach around your disappointment. Either way, this will allow you to move on.
Progression (depression and acceptance) – At this point you need to realise and accept that life isn’t always fair and refuse to be the victim. I know this was the case for me. You have to stop concentrating on the setback and disappointment (which will continue to make you depressed) and choose to get on with the next goal or with living your life. (Acceptance is easier said than done I know !)

There are some other tips I have for helping you overcome disappointment as best you can, but let’s leave this post with an understanding of the natural stages of grief you will go through regardless. For more information buy my book A Life That Counts.

A whole life context – an exercise for you

It is said that most people spend more time planning a holiday than they do planning their year or the life they want to create. You don’t turn up at the airport and ‘hope’ your holiday will work out – with no passport, no destination and no money. Yet people often turn up to life with exactly that attitude … so here is an exercise to take a step back and think about your life.

Think of your life as a wheel that has many spokes.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (whereby 1 means ‘Not at all satisfied’ and 10 means ‘Completely satisfied’) rank each area of your life and then start to write down how you want that area to be / look / feel / be experienced. Write down your dreams for those areas. Remember to think big and without limitation.

As an interesting side note, in 2004, The Wall Street Journal published the results of a survey on happiness that found that the Forbes magazine list of the 400 richest Americans, on a scale of 1.0 to 7.0, rate their life satisfaction at 5.8. The interesting bit – the Inuit people of northernGreenland and the cattle-herding Masai people of Kenya rated themselves the same as the 400 richest Americans in a similar rating of happiness, despite the fact that their lifestyle in all ways is pretty removed from the lifestyle of the Forbes 400. Hmmmm – interesting isn’t it !