403, 2015

A lesson from an African tribe on positive psychology

By |March 4th, 2015|Miscellaneous, Psychology|0 Comments

African-Tribe

I recently read about an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing when dealing with crime or when someone has done something hurtful and wrong.

What they do is …

… they take the person to the center of town and the entire tribe comes and surrounds him. For two days they’ll tell the person every good thing he has ever done.

The tribe believes that every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace and happiness. And each of us fashioned to do good. But sometimes in the pursuit of those things and needs people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help. So they band together for the sake of their fellow man to hold him up, to reconnect him with his true nature and to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth from which he’d temporarily been disconnected.

Positive psychology would say the same – that everyone acts with the highest intentions. It’s just that the actions in pursuit of that need or want (which are good needs or wants eg attention, to be loved etc) aren’t always good. But of course, we don’t need modern and ‘advanced’ positive psychology to teach us that. We just need an African tribe.

Challenge

There’s a lesson in this … see the good in people. Speak to the goodness in them. See the best in them even when they can’t yet see it themselves. Remind them positively of their capacity to do good and be great, not their capacity to do wrong, do evil or make mistakes. People will respond far better to this approach. bot-only-image

1802, 2015

The journey has begun … (Beach Flags – Part 5)

By |February 18th, 2015|Goal Setting|0 Comments

18 months I set myself a goal – to become World Champion (Masters) in the beach flags. And to achieve that goal I started a process that I have used when trying to achieve any goal I set – be that for the Olympics, rugby, work or something else in my life. I’ve taken you on that journey with me through four previous blog posts:

http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-1/
http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-2/
http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-3/
http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-4/

My hope is that by sharing with you a current and real example of mine that it really helps build on and solidify what I wrote about in my book about goal-setting and following your dreams. It’s not about me and the outcome of this goal in particular. It’s about the process and learnings and example. I want it to inspire you and equip you to go after whatever you want in YOUR life. (And I hope that it answers your original question Jesper).

So here’s the final instalment on chasing my goal of becoming world champion.

Staying focussed in the lead-up – The funny thing is that this all happened in the lead-up to my wedding. World Championships just happened to be 10 days after our wedding. Or perhaps better said – we organised our wedding for September 5th and World Championships were scheduled for the 15th. So half the battle for me was keeping up the training and keeping focussed with so much else going on in the 6 months prior – be they family arriving from overseas, or all the organisation that needed to be done, or wedding cakes that begged to be eaten, or finding the time to fit everything in, or how our honeymoon would fit in with this. Luckily my beautiful wife Satu was happy to let me fly off to France 5 days after our wedding and compete. Meanwhile she stayed home in Sydney and hung out with friends and family and we organised to meet in Thailand for our honeymoon immediately after competition ended. 🙂 You’d also be interested to know (or perhaps not to) that I trained on the morning of my wedding!

World champs - taperingWedding

I’m here and it’s time to perform – there’s nothing like the feeling of arriving at a big competition like the Olympic Games or World Championships. You wonder how things are going to work out in the following few days. You also know internally whether you’ve done the training and preparation or whether you haven’t (this is not a good feeling). I knew I had trained hard, prepared well and was in good shape. So it was just a matter of performing on the day when it counted.
IMG_0872 World champs - here we are World champs - here we are 2

Prepared, motivated and focussed – there wasn’t much more to do now. And this in itself can be a challenge. Your body feels great but you have to force yourself to sit and do very little. To internalise and conserve your energy. To be focussed, but not over focussed too early – unleash that focus when it counts. (For me, the way to deal with this is to be organised and stick to a plan and routine. It takes my mind off things so I feel like I’m doing more than I am, I’m relaxed and I’m not thinking too much of the upcoming competition. And it makes sure I’ve thought of everything so the only thing that matters is performing when it counts). You also want to surround yourself with positive thoughts, belief and motivation. But at the same time to remain relaxed and also to enjoy the journey. Pre-competition is a funny time.
World champs - plan Motivation on the wall

The Beach Sprint and Beach Flags – these photos aren’t of me as I was too busy concentrating on performing. They were taken after my events. But they’ll give you a good sense of everything.
World champs - the sprint World champs - the flags

World Champion – I did it. Mission accomplished. Goal achieved. World Champion in the beach sprint. And World Champion in the beach flags the next day. From retiring from bobsleigh; then discovering Surf-Life Saving as something that I enjoyed and wanted to do to keep me fit and healthy; to starting the sport and then having a dream and a big goal to win the world title in France in 18 months time; to training and all that was involved in that process along the way; to doing it !
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The reward – whenever you set yourself goals you should give yourself a reward. Many people say to me “shouldn’t your goal be enough though?”. Well it should, but you always give yourself secondary leverage. Something else to look forward to. Something else to think about during the tough times. I mean, what harm is there in giving yourself more incentive to achieve what you want? For me, as someone with a ‘sweet tooth’ who had really tried hard to eat better and improve my nutrition, that was eating what I wanted for the next few weeks. First stop – Macdonalds at the airport ! Second stop – my honeymoon !
The rewardHoneymoon

The end.

And now onto the next dream / goal – whatever that is and whenever that is. I have no idea what that is right now. It may be back in Surf Life Saving to win that elusive Australian title. It may be outside of sport and be more business focussed. Time will tell. And so will my heart !

In the meantime, here’s to your own dreams. Go after them without regret. Remember you’re better off regardless and you always regret the things you don’t do more than the things you do. You’ve only got one life so go for it !

 

 

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402, 2015

The journey has begun … (Beach Flags – Part 4)

By |February 4th, 2015|Dare to Dream, Goal Setting|0 Comments

You will recall that a friend of mine who had read my book, wanted some more information and examples of how I actually goal-set and go about following my dreams and achieving my goals. To do this I used as the example my latest goal – to become World Champion in beach flags as a perfect example of this. Here is the 4th instalment of my journey to become World Champion and links to the three previous posts.

http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-1/
http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-2/
http://www.jeremyrolleston.com/the-journey-has-begun-beach-flags-part-3/

You may recall that I went into my first Australian Championships after three months in the sport with no real expectations – more to perform to the best of my ability and see what happens. Well … I won silver and it gave me a taste for more. So the focus turned to Australian Championships a year later and then the World Championships six months after that. Here’s some of the things around my goal-setting that I did in that 12-18 months.

Continue to make the vision big, exciting and motivating – I already had the dream and was motivated towards it. But redoing my vision board, having it on the wall in my room, and seeing it all the time is always very powerful. Vision boards are a powerful tool to make that dream come alive (Read more about this in my book A Life That Counts). You need to see it, before you can believe it, before you can achieve it. Sounds cliche doesn’t it. But it’s true. 
Vision board Flags Simon Harris

Belief – I’d now had a taste of it and knew I could do it. If I could come second in the Australian titles after 3 months, then with a concerted focus, with a good training base, and with time to learn and improve in flags … I knew I could win if things went right. But to develop a deep unshakeable belief, I developed a visualisation CD with Craig Townsend whom I have worked with before. (If you want to know more on this I also talk about visualisation and hypnosis/visualisation CDs in my book A Life That Counts).

Reset my goals for the upcoming year – basically I needed to be fitter, faster, stronger, and lose some weight (to improve my power to weight). That meant reassessing, critiquing and resetting my goals. (That’s the thing most people don’t realise – goal-setting is not a once off thing – it’s a dynamic process. You’re always looking at them and writing new little milestone goals along the way – even while the big goal remains unchanged).
New goal setting

Improve my nutrition – my training was good and always has been. But now my eating needed to be equally good. And for me this was haaaarrd – I have a sweet tooth like no other! During my bobsleigh and rugby days I could get away with it as I needed to be big and strong. But now I couldn’t hide these bad habits – well not if I wanted to be lean for beach flags!

Concentrate on nutrition

Training – this is pretty obvious isn’t it. But I needed to do two things. Firstly, I had to do more specific flags training as technique is so important in this sport. And second, I needed to learn from the best. So in the last 6 months before World titles I committed to flying up to the Gold Coast and training with Australian flags legend (9 times Australian champion and four-time World Champion – Simon Harris). And of course, there’s no substitute for hard work!
Training Training Training

 

Competitions – practice makes perfect. I went in all the competitions I could. And thank goodness I did as I made many mistakes – from false-starting and being disqualified. To tripping. To missing the flag when I dived for it. To being too tense and that affecting my get-up. To realising I wasn’t fit enough. To not having peripheral vision to see what other people were doing. I had some success and won branch titles and State championships.
East Coast Masters - flags State champs

Preparation and focus – for me the goal was winning that World title. So training was a chance to try some things out and Australian Championships was a dress rehearsal and a good opportunity to try everything out in competition. Then I’d either replicate what I did or take the learnings from it and make improvements. In particular that mean getting organised about the gear I took onto the beach for the various events (as you’re on the beach for a lot of the day and need to have clothes to warm up in, feel relaxed in, be warm in, be protected from the sun in). It also meant getting organised about my food and what I would eat in the morning, as well as throughout the day.
Trailling stuff at training Aust champs - food Aust champs - food 3 Aust champs - bags and organisation Aust champs - food

Australian Titles – I flew over to Perth in April to compete in Australian Championships and unfortunately didn’t get the result I wanted. I was bumped out in the final flag and ended up with silver. What it did do though – was flame that fire inside me for that original goal – to win that world title in six months time in France. There was lots of work to do. I now had a good base to work off, but I was going to be faster, stronger, technically better at flags, really lean and ready !
Aust champs

Stay tuned for the final chapter – World Championshipsbot-only-image

1712, 2014

Pay it forward – paid with a bag of veggie soup

By |December 17th, 2014|A Life That Counts, Action|1 Comment

Ah … another incredible and moving video. This time from Thailand. I love it.

In fact, this is why I absolutely love writing my blog. I write this blog as much for myself as all of you who read it. A video like this moves me and stays with me. It inspires me to live a better life. It challenges me to live a life outside of my own selfish pursuits and concerns. It encourages me that when you pay it forward and help people that they never forget that and that they will in turn do the same. It reminds me that I want to live a life that makes a difference – a life that really counts.

So amidst the routine and the daily grind of life that can often wear us down, I hope my blog brings you inspiration and energy and life. May it be like a library of inspiration, encouragement, tips, and motivation. And we can never have enough of that in our lives !

Enjoy this latest dose !

 

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1711, 2014

Are you happy ? … how to get happiness

By |November 17th, 2014|Life lessons, Uncategorized|1 Comment

Happiness. We all want to be happy don't we. It's on top of all of our lists when it comes to things we want in our life. And its the same for everyone – regardless of where you live in the world; no matter how rich or poor you are; no matter your background or your age – we all want to be happy.


The question then is how ? Some try and achieve it through money and wealth (buying happiness). Others through service and charity. Others through achievements. Others through meditation. Others through drugs and alcohol. Others through relationships and sex.

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So what makes you happy ? Perhaps you remember a past blog I wrote on happiness where I shared some findings around happiness. Some of the key points I wrote about were:

  • Surprisingly, according to this research, genetics play a bigger role than we would have first thought in our happiness. And yet, life's circumstances (our wealth, material possessions, what happens to us) play a much smaller role than we would have first thought. It is why a Masai herdsman can be as happy as a multi-millionaire (see details here). Or why a lottery winner and a paraplegic can return to the same previous long-term happiness level (see this article and see here).
  • Most importantly, a big part of our happiness is determined by our intentional activity – what we think and what we do. And the good news is that this is in our control – so in this way happiness is a choice. So if we find and use strategies focussed on increasing our happiness (exercise gratitude, enjoy pleasurable activities, improve your stress management skills, manage and harness your thoughts, focussing on those things and those people that make you happy, make sure you are striving after the right goals for the right reasons etc) it can have a big effect.

So with that in mind, here's a couple of thoughts from my life experience so far as to things you can do that will contribute to being happier.

1.  Realise that it's your life and that you (and noone else) is responsible for your happiness.  This sounds so chiche, but it's true. You along know what makes you happy. You alone cultivate those things in your life. You alone do those activities, and surround yourself with those people, and think those thoughts, and make those decisions that contribute to your happiness. You alone create the happy life you dream of. You and not someone else.

2. Don't live your life by other people's expectations or to try to please everyone.  Don't live to please others. And don't live by their expectations and their comments. You'll never please everyone anyway and it honestly doesn't really matter that they think anyway. Live your life by the beat of your own drum. Live your life how you want to and on your terms.

3. Quit worrying.  What will worrying add to your life? It is time and energy invested in what you think and hope wont happen, and may not actually happen. Worrying achieves absolutely nothing. It isn't productive. It wastes precious time. It is destructive in many cases. And it puts your focus in the wrong direction. Learn to quit worrying and you'll be a whole lot happier.

4. You can't buy happiness. Never forget that the best things in life truly are free. Health. Love. Relationships. Satsfaction. Enjoyment. Purpose. Happiness. You can't buy these. We try and fill our life with things that give us 'momentary' pleasure. And in many respects these 'things' complicate our lives. Life is simpler than that. And happiness is simpler than that too – despite what the world tries to tell us.

 

My Challenge
What makes you happy ? Find out. Cultivate and embrace these things. Implement them in your life
. And let your happiness be the judge and proof of if they make a difference. 

1301, 2014

Thank God for closed doors

By |January 13th, 2014|Perseverence, Uncategorized|0 Comments

I THANK GOD FOR CLOSED DOORS.

This past few years has been a really difficult journey for me. I gave up a job I loved to pursue my olympic dream again and after all the sacrifice, hard work and effort to get there again, and after being in the best shape of my life (physically and mentally) – that Olympic journey ended up with a bizarre, unexpected and devastating crash in front of the world’s media at the Vancouver Olympic Games. I couldn’t have scripted that Olympics worse if I had tried. But that’s another story. And then on the job front I made a slight change with my career and ended up working for a firm which was the antithesis of everything that I am, that I embrace and how I operate. And the parting gift from this work stress was glandular fever. But that’s another story. I’m better now but things on the work front have still not taken shape the way I want them to. I feel like I’m walking through mud and treading water. Of course there have been some good times and some good things along the way – it isn’t all bad. But, there is no doubt – it has been a tough time.

And yet, despite not having found the next open door yet, I actively thank God for closed doors.

Enter Tyler. It was a post of his that inspired this blog and what he writes below I completely agree with. Thankyou Tyler for the encouragement and wisdom. I hope this inspired all of you too.

“When I wake up in the morning and see the sunrise as I’m running, I thank God for new mercies every day. As I was running this morning I started thinking about this and you know how much I like to share my morning thoughts… LOL

I was out just thinking about my life and all the times that I wished that a door had opened. All the times I had promoters and people lie to me saying that they would help me… I remember wishing the bank would approve my loan request for a house or a car (usually one I couldn’t afford at the time). I wished that this person would help me or that person would do something to help my business, or this person would help my dreams come true.

As I look back now I’m so glad that none of those situations worked out. I’m so glad God closed those doors because they forced me to find the right path for me. If you’re in this situation and you feel like doors are closing all around you and you are frustrated, here’s something I’d like you to think about: Life can be like a living maze. You know what a maze is. In a maze, you start out at one end and your objective is to find your way to the finish line.

Many times you may make a turn and hit a dead end and you have to go another way. Just like life, that door closing on you sends you another way. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen, it just means you need to go another way. If you keep moving, eventually you will get to where you’re going.

Another thing that is important when you’re in a maze, as in life, is to remember where you have been. If you get turned around and confused in a maze, in order to get out, you have to remember the dead-ends that you have already hit. Just like in life you have to remember all the doors that were closed so you don’t waste time going that way again. If you want to get to your dreams you can’t expect to get there by doing the same thing and going to the same spots. You must try something different. I’m not saying give up on your dream, I’m saying try another path to the same dream. Same maze, same dream, but take a different direction to get there.

I feel sorry for people who have a dream and give up because it gets hard. Let me tell you something, “IT’S GOING TO GET HARD!” And my answer to that is, “SO WHAT? MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!” Don’t stop because a door closed. I have learned to thank God for closed doors. You have to know that if God wanted you to go that way, no man could close that door. But for some reason he allowed that door to be closed, but if that one was closed I assure you that there is one that is open somewhere. And it’s the right one. Don’t stop until you are living your dream.”

Challenge
Closed doors happen. Thank God for them. But don’t stop there. Keep going until you find the open one and until you  are living your dreams. We’ve only got one life – so let’s make it count !

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612, 2013

Inspired Gifts for Christmas and other occasions

By |December 6th, 2013|Miscellaneous|0 Comments

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Well it's almost Christmas time and so we turn our thoughts to presents and gifts. But this year I want to share with you a tradition I have just started in our family – one that I think taps into one of the real meanings of Christmas – giving.

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Why not this Christmas give a gift that makes a difference to others and helps others in need ? I mean, who needs another candle ?! Or another T-shirt? Instead, why don't you buy a gift for someone that goes to someone else in need. A goat. Or a bike. Or a water purifier that thenn helps an entire family have clean drinking water which then lifts their health, which means they don't miss school because of sickness, which means they get better educated, which means … you get the picture. It is better to give than to receive. And if you're reading this then it is clear that you live a blessed life. So why not start a tradition in your family or use this Christmas or birthday or wedding or other occasion to bless others. And you know what – there is a saying that I like that says "The fragrance of the rose always stays in the hand of the giver". Trust me – you'll be blessed from giving.

So here's a list of a few inspired gift programs I know of and some of my favourite gifts.

  • Water Charity – 100% of public donations funding water projects around the world. 9,458 water projects funded so far, giving clean water to 3,500,000 people, in over 20 countries. And you get photos and GPS co-ordinates to prove the difference you made. Click here to find out why water is so important.

Present idea => A Biosand filter ($65)- a gift wrapped in concrete, filled with sand and running on bacteria !

watercharity2

 

  • Childfund – The charity I have sponsored my children through for almost 20 years. And having visited my sponsored child in Kenya in 2003, I know how incredibly effective this organisation is – I've seen it with my own eyes ! 

Present idea => Mosquito Nets ($60) – Provide 10 insecticide-impregnated mosquito nets to keep children safe from lethal maleria.

Present idea => Goat ($55) – Goats are easy to raise, can survice the toughest conditions, eat almost anything, reporoduce quickly, provide milk and can be sold if necessary.

Present idea => 15 Fruit Tree seedings ($28) – What could be better for a hungry child than healthy fruit that they can eat or sell at market

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  • Unicef – This amazing organisation had made worldwide impact as you can see from this picture.

Present idea => A bike ($103)- so helpful for health workers or to transport product, vaccines etc

Present idea => Measles vaccines ($28) – this will protect 100 children from measles

Present idea => Pencils ($13) – 500 pencils will unlock imagination & are a vital tool for learning and education

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Challenge

It’s always someone’s birthday or wedding. So why not institute this in your family this year or do this throughout the year. Or getting married and don't need another platter or toaster ? Imagine the difference you could make with some inspired gifts ! 

312, 2013

One of the best ads I’ve ever seen (Jean-Claude Van Damme style)

By |December 3rd, 2013|Miscellaneous|0 Comments

This blog isn’t one to make you think or to challenge or inspire you. Just one to enjoy …

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1211, 2013

Pay it forward – give a little love, get a little love

By |November 12th, 2013|A Life That Counts|0 Comments

I thought it was time for a video and time for some more inspiration. I don’t think we can ever have enough of that !

So here’s to paying it forward and the powerful life principle shown so well in this video – give a little love, get a little love.

Challenge
I wonder what you’ll do now after watching this video …

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810, 2013

Are you a global citizen ? An incredible day in Central Park, New York.

By |October 8th, 2013|A Life That Counts, Action|0 Comments

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