Jeremy Rolleston’s Blog | jeremyrolleston.com

Wanting something you've never had

It was the brainiac Albert Einstein who said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. And he would know, after his countless experiments formed the basis for him publishing more than 300 scientific papers and 150 non-scientific works !

But, back to the point … in the same vein, it follows that if you want something you’ve never had, then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done.

The problem is, though, that it’s often as if there are invisible hands that hold us back when we want to do something we’ve never done. And this is what I want to focus in on today. So what are examples of these invisible hands? Well here’s some of them:

1. CHANGE
None of us like change. We are creatures of habit. If you want things to change you’re going to have to get to a point where you embrace change. Pretty obvious isn’t it. But easier said than done. Enough said ! To do something you’ve never done will require embracing change.

2. FEAR
We all have fears, and they come in many shapes and sizes. And they can emanate from many areas and for many reasons. But their effects are the same – doubt, hopelessness, nervousness, and the desire to shrink back rather than move forward. For example – fear of failure. Unlike kids, as adults, we often visualise the outcome already don’t we. So why would we begin or try something new or do something we’ve never done when we might embarrass ourselves and make a fool of ourselves? We see what could happen in the negative, rather than what could happen in the positive. The challenge is not to let that fear or those fears be a controlling influence on us and to cause us to stop moving forward in the direction of our dreams. It’s a choice. Plain and simple.

That’s a key point I’ve definitely discovered in my journey through life so far and through the opportunity I’ve had to meet and interview some incredible people as I did for my book. It is clear to me that people who accomplish incredible things face the very same fears as you and I do. The difference – they choose to take a different approach and mindset. They choose to see the glass half full. They choose to see the potential and possible outcome. They choose to dare to dream and follow those dreams. They choose to think bigger and broader about what’s possible and to have a go regardless of the ultimate outcome. They choose to see possibilities and dreams and to ask, ‘Why not?’ rather than see things and ask, ‘Why?’ They choose to believe the reasons why they’ll achieve their dream, not the reasons why they won’t achieve it. They make a conscious choice.

It reminds me of something Australian Rugby League player, Jason Stevens, said to me when interviewing him.
“Before a game, I was pretty much always fearful – especially in a big game like State of Origin, where there are millions watching. You have the expectations of fans, and you don’t want to let anybody down. For me, the feeling of fear never really went away, but what I learnt was to do things afraid.”

3. LIMITING MINDSETS
To do something we’ve never done requires a mental shift doesn’t it? A change of paradigm. Adopting a new view. Having a change of attitude. This is where it starts as our mindset effects our actions which then effects the outcome.
But this is easier said than done isn’t it? The crazy thing though is that it is often our own self-limitations that hold us back the most as opposed to limitations ‘imposed’ on us by others. It’s as if we’re chained up by our own choice. I mean, there’s not one person in a hundred who couldn’t write down his or her most exciting dream and not at the same time tell you, ‘It’s probably impossible; it’ll never happen.’ There’s not one person in a hundred who couldn’t give you good reasons why his or her dreams won’t come to pass and why he or she won’t achieve what he or she would like to. This is not a new problem. But, if you want something you’ve never had ==>> then you’ve got to do something you’ve never done ==> to do this you need to deal with your self-imposed limitations and adopt a new attitude that will lead to new behaviour.

As athletes we deal with self-imposed limiting mindsets all the time. If we don’t, we’ll never break through that invisible barrier and set a new ‘personal best’. Or we’ll never beat that person we’ve never beaten. So here’s a few ways myself and others have used to help us adopt an attitude that will then help us act differently and lead to new results.

A) Visualise the positive outcome – When I’m going to the gym for a ‘testing’ session, do you think I go up to the squat rack, look at the 272.5 kg ‘personal best’ on the bar and think, I can’t lift that weight once, let alone twice or three times!? Or Wow, that looks heavy; I’ve never lifted that weight before!? Of course not! If I did, I’d never progress as an athlete. I’d never push the boundaries, improve, and move forward. Instead, during the days leading up to that testing session, then while I’m warming up, and also immediately before I put the weight on my shoulders, I close my eyes and imagine myself lifting that weight. I tell myself, You can do this. You love this. You’re strong and powerful, and this is light. This is only an extra 5 kilograms, or 2 per cent. This is easy. I do this over and over to ensure I shatter that limiting mindset and put the positive image / mindset front and centre.

B) Foster unlimited thinking – Australia’s famous Paralympian and World Sportsperson of the Year, Michael Milton (whom I feature in my book used to inspire himself to unlimited thinking in the following way … ‘I remember that with my goal-setting, I used to grab a tape measure and put a mark of 2 metres and 8 centimetres – 2.08 metres – on the wall, which is the world high-jump record for an athlete with one leg. If you can imagine a guy hopping up to a bar and then hopping over a 2 metre bar without touching it, for me that was something that always inspired me and reminded me, when setting my goals, to set the bar high so that I made sure my goal was challenging enough yet realistic.’

C) Becoming aware of your thoughts – Olympic Gold medallist Lydia Lassila describes how before she could change her thoughts she first needed to become consciously aware of all the limiting thoughts going through her brain. “If you think about even one hour in a day, there are so many thoughts going through your mind; lots of garbage and lots of thoughts that don’t serve you . . . Becoming consciously aware of all these thoughts going through your head allows you to then analyse your beliefs . . . to be able to change your thinking.”

CHALLENGE

Your outcome (something you’ve never had) ==>>
is determined by your actions (doing something you’ve never done) ==>>
and your actions are first influenced by your thoughts

So the statement at the top of this post is true, but it actually starts with your thoughts.
So my challenge is to think about the invisible hands (your thoughts) that might be first holding you back.
Thoughts around 1) Change 2) Fears 3) Limiting Mindsets

For more help and information read
A Life That Counts

Pure inspiration V – Arthur Boorman

Here’s something to start your new year off with a new mindset and inspiration.

This video shows the remarkable transformation Arthur Boorman made in his life in less than a year. Authur was a disabled veteran of the Gulf War for 15 years, and was told by his doctors that he would never be able to walk on his own – never, ever !

He stumbled upon an article about Diamond Dallas Page doing Yoga and decided to give it a try — he couldn’t do traditional, higher impact exercise, so he tried DDP YOGA and sent an email to Dallas telling him his story. Dallas was so moved by his story, he began emailing and speaking on the phone with Arthur throughout his journey – he encouraged Arthur to keep going and to believe that anything was possible. Even though doctors told him walking would never happen, Arthur was persistent. He fell many times, but kept going. As he did he not only lost a lot of weight, he gained tremendous balance and flexibility. But more than that – he gained the hope that maybe someday he’d walk again. And he did !

His story is proof, that we cannot place limits on what we are capable of doing, because we often do not know our own potential. Niether Arthur, nor Dallas knew what he would go on to accomplish, but this video speaks for itself. In less than a year, Arthur completely transformed his life. If only he had known what he was capable of, 15 years earlier !

Do not waste any time thinking you are stuck – you can take control over your life, and change it faster than you might think.

So may this video give you that injection of inspiration you need for 2013. Believe in yourself and go after your dreams – whatever they are – they might just come true !

Most people …

Most people are afraid to take action.

Most people don’t care enough to make a difference.

Most people aren’t going to buy that new thing you’re selling.

Most people are too self-involved to do the generous work you’re hoping for.

Most people think they can’t afford it.

Most people won’t talk about it.

Most people aren’t going to read what you wrote.

Most people find it easier to criticise than to offer praise and encouragement.

… But you’re not most people !
And nor do you want to be most people right ?
And your best customers aren’t most people. Neither are your best supporters. Nor are those joining you on the journey.

One thing I’ve learnt over the last number of years is that when you dream big and are bold enough to dare to dream and to share that with others, it is surprising how many people are happy to tell you it can’t be done or to criticise or doubt you in some way. In fact, you’ll meet more people who’ll tell you that you can’t do something than you’ll meet people who’ll encourage you and tell you that you can. You’ll meet more people who’ll tell you that it’s a stupid idea than you’ll meet people who’ll tell you that that it’s a great idea.

There isn’t one autobiography I’ve read of people who’ve achieved amazing things who haven’t been told by people that they couldn’t do it. Think about people like Sir Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Sir Edmund Hilary, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Gai Waterhouse, Michael Milton, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Kurt Fearnley, Dr Suess, Salma Hayek, Walt Disney to name just a few. (For more examples click here).

And so I’ve learnt that it is a choice to have self-belief and not be limited by other people’s expectations or opinions. It’s a choice to ignore them and believe in something different that’s inside you, to believe you can do it rather than that you can’t. It’s a choice to choose to not be most people.

Challenge
Don’t be like most people.
In any case you’re unique and there’s only one of you in the entire world.

The irony of judement

There’s a funny story to when I learnt this. I had won some money whilst working at ANZ and was able to spend it on my own self-development. I could do whatever I wanted as long as it got signed off. Well, whilst some went off and started their masters, and others did some specific courses on offer … I went ice-climbing in NZ.

Well aside from that being a life experience (and a frightening one for that matter), I also did a whole host of personality profiles. I did one called the LSI (Lifestyles Inventory) and as part of this you get your family / friends/ boss / employees to fill out a comprehensive questionnaire on you. And then you do the same yourself. You then compare the two results and low and behold others see you differently to how you see yourself.

The life lesson learnt – you judge others by their actions but yourself by your intentions.

It is said that when you point the finger you have one finger pointing at someone else, but don’t forget you have 4 fingers still pointing back at you. And the Bible puts it like this “Get the log out of your own eye before you get the speck out of someone elses”.

Challenge
Before we judge others, we should first judge ourselves.
And if ever we do judge others we should never forget to judge ourselves by the same standards to avoid being hypocritical.
After all, we judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions.

Pure Inspiration IV – Sung-bong Choi

I’m in tears as I write this. This is pure inspiration – exactly what I want this blog to provide. To give you and I together another dose of inspiration for our week.

And what a dose of inspiration it is. An example of how your past doesn’t define your future. An example of guts and inner fortitude, but also of good decisions. Consider the courage it took to get himself off the street; the courage to take any singing lessons in the first place; and the massive courage to go on the show when Sung-bong thought he was an average singer (even if he was wrong !). An example of the dignity of a young man and the honest compassion of the judges.

May you be inspired to not let your past define your future and to go after your dreams with all you have.

It makes you want to drink – the world’s best bartender !?

Seriously how good is this guy?!
Hope this made you smile. Have a good day …

To dare – the quest of Mt Midoriyama

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYcxmJP27dc

Ninja Warrior is a reality-based television show where competitors from across the country attempt to successfully navigate extremely difficult obstacle courses as they progress through the competition. If competitors successfully pass the initial trial stages, they receive the right to attempt what is regarded as the most difficult obstacle course in the world, held at Mt. Midoriyama. Ninja Warrior is divided up into four stages each of which has several challenging obstacles. Every year, or occasionally every season, Mt. Midoriyama opens its gates to allow 100 athletes to try to take on its obstacle courses. Over 14 years and through twenty seven tournaments, only three individuals have ever succeeded. All other 2,697 Ninja Warrior attempts were met with bitter defeat. It’s an unforgiving competition, where one slip of the foot, or one mistimed jump or one mistake can de-rail and eliminate you. All of the hard work contestants have put in, all of the dreams they might have had … can be gone in a second.

Now I’m with you – the show’s name and the quest to become a ‘Ninja Warrior’ – well, it probably makes you roll your eyes doesn’t it !! But take a look at the calibre of athletes attempting this. Many of these athletes train all year long on self-designed obstacle courses just for the mere possibility of getting the chance to attempt Mt. Midoriyama. They invest their time, make sacrifices, and risk injury in the hopes of accomplishing what so few have successfully done.

While only three out of thousands have reached the pinnacle of success in this sport, there have likely been thousands more that failed to even make the attempt because of fear of failure or fear of embarrassment. When they fail at Ninja Warrior it is seldom gracefully … and it’s on national television !

To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself. (Soren Kierkegaard)

But take the TV cameras away and isn’t it the same thing ? … many of us would rather not attempt the obstacle course because of the high likelihood of not succeeding than have a go. And this is the point … many of us don’t dare to have a go because we want to know that we’ll be successful and achieve that goal before we even start. But that isn’t the way life works or achieving great things goes is it.

Ask anyone who has achieved anything great and they’ll tell you what the path looks like. It starts with a decision. A decision to believe and step-out even though you don’t know if you’ll achieve what you want. There are set-backs and there are disappointments along the way. It requires discipline and planning and strategy. It requires ignoring many people who find it easier to say/shout/proclaim from the sidelines that it can’t be done instead of having the guts to try it themselves. It takes developing a belief in yourself because you have to overcome not only the doubts of others, but you’re own doubts. It requires learning to ‘enjoy’ the process of the stretching and self-growth and the challenge that chasing that goal requires.

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. (Robert Kennedy)

We all have our own Mt. Midoriyama we want to conquer. It could be a character trait or an event or an experience or some other sort of goal or vision we have for our lives. So here’s a few thoughts to challenge and help you conquer your own Mt. Midoriyama.

1) Be Willing to Take Risks. Most individuals are extremely risk adverse in their approach to life. Make no mistake, whether you are attempting to achieve financial success or sporting success or some other goal, you are going to have to leave your comfort zone. For example, you can’t become a successful trader by simply doing virtual trades your whole life. And you can’t become a good sailor by staying on the shore. At some point you are going to have to take a risk.

2) Doubt doubt. Do not be surprised. Unfortunately whenever you set off on your journey to achieve great things, you will not always have the support of friends, colleagues, and even family members. Do not be naive in this regard. Not everyone will embrace your journey. There will be doubters. It is easier to knock someone else down than to do it yourself. Be prepared to ignore this negativity and create a self-belief and a self-determination.

3) Be stubborn in a good way. Along your quest to conquer your Mt. Midoriyama, you will face the cold hard reality of how much you actually want it. And the answer will be very simple – you’ll either give up or you wont. You’ll either see something as an obstacle that will stop you or a barrier to your success that needs to be overcome (because you will achieve – when is the question). You see there are far too many books out there like ‘The Secret’ that espouse the ‘believe and you can achieve’ sort of philosophy. Belief is just one part of the journey. The other half is determination, hard-work, stubborness, perseverence, desire, discipline, training, willingness to critique and learn and so on. So count the cost before you start and know that when you face obstacles on your path to success, you will no doubt face the cold hard questions. What will be your answer?

Challenge
Let me leave you with one of my favourite quotes. Hopefully it is enough to get you moving and going after what you really want, or to overcome whatever it is that is holding you back.

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. (Wayne Gretzky)

Feeling down ? Feeling sorry for yourself ? Read this !

Some days you just need to be reminded how lucky and fortunate you are. It just gives you a good dose of perspective. A kick in the butt in a good way … so be inspired …stop feeling sorry for yourself. Realise how lucky you are with all the things you have and all the things you’ve done and all the things you’ve wanted that you’ve got. Pick yourself up, smile and take this image with you as you head on into today or tomorrow.

How to marry a Finnish girl

Well that got your attention didn’t it !

This week’s blog is a bit different. More like a journal / diary blog rather than the normal blog I write which I purposely aim to be more inspirational or challenging.

I’m writing it in honour of jetlag and having just flown in from Finland this morning. Why ? Well I certainly never ever thought I’d go to Finland for one and I’m tipping most of you haven’t been either (after all I can only think of places like Iceland and Greenland that could possibly be further away) so I thought you might find it interesting if I shared some thoughts and observations with you from my 2 weeks there.

Observation 1 – They really love their saunas !
Sorry. Correction. They really, really love their saunas. And they enjoy them naked ! Just like in the photo below – truly. It is just like that. And when in Rome … so, yes, I had a sauna in the buff too. There’s even some G-rated proof for you below. And what’s more – it felt pretty good actually. They don’t slow cook themselves for 20-30 mins in like people seem to do here. Just a good 5-10 minutes in, then out for a swim or shower or a relaxed beer whilst sitting in the colder air. And then they might head in to the sauna for another round and do it again. I’m starting to become a fan (except for the branches which they reckon are relaxing and therapeutic as you hit yourself with them ?!). All in all though, the saunas really do feel great when done properly … Boy, I never thought I’d say that !!

Observation 2 – All Finns are blonde
Ok, perhaps this isn’t strictly true, but I’m sticking with it. After all, look at my two samples – Viktor – the son of one of the families I stayed with, and my girlfriend as a child (when she lived in an igloo).

Observation 3 – berries are king !
It’s true. The Finns love berries. Berries grow everywhere in the forests around their summer cabins and you will find the Finnish happily wondering the forest, basket or bucket in hand, collecting berries to then be used in all manner of things. Is it possible to overdose on anti-oxidents? If not, the Finnish must be very healthy …

Observation 4 – Finnish is the second hardest language in the world
Seriously – what’s with this language? I’m sure there is a harder language out there but from my point of view, could they make it any harder. Can I feel any stupider when trying to speak it?
Finnish comes from the Finno-Ugric langage family which includes other easy languages like Hungarian and Estonian. Now, take that as the foundation to learn from and then add the following facts that I’ve noticed …
1) It can only be spoken in a monotone. No gestures like the Italians.No pompousness like the french. No gutteral sounds like the Germans. No ear-piercing intonation like the Chinese. No fairytale sounds like Estonian. Just plain old devoid of life monotone. (Interestingly when I did add my own little bit of spiced up intonation to an expression when asking a little child in a pram how he was, the kid looked up at me startled and everyone in the lift laughed – ah one of life’s moments!). Guess I’ll stick to monotone.
2) It seems like the aim is to link the most number of vowels, the letter ‘K’, and umlauts.
3) Speaking should be done with minimal eye contact. So good luck trying to use facial expressions to help.
3) Finns love their compound words. Just look at the photo below which I took of the outside of a shop advertising something. Or consider the word Hurskastelevaisehkollaismaisellisuuksisaankohankin. I mean – seriously – c’mon ! Are you having a lend of me ?

Observation 5 – Shrek lives in the beautiful city of Tallinn in Estonia
Tallin is the capital of Estonia which is a couple of hours ferry ride across the Gulf of Finland / Baltic Sea from Helsinki. I did a quick trip over there (to do some rally car driving of all things) and was so pleasantly surprised. Tallinn is without doubt one of the most beautiful towns I have visited in Europe. And that is saying something after having lived in Italy and travelled as much of Europe as I have throughout my bobsledding days. Picture an old medieval city, cobbled streets, colourful buildings, nice parks etc. I highly recommend a visit there if you just happen to be in the area !? And who would have thought that whilst there I would unexpectedly run into Shrek and Donkey? So not only does Santa Klaus live in Finland, but Shrek is a neighbour !

Observation 6 – Australians would feel at home here – the Finns love a good booze run
The Finnish are big drinkers and often travel to neighbouring Estonia (where Shrek lives) to buy their alcohol tax free and keep on doing what they do well – drinking – even out of casks. (I thought we stopped that when we were 15 in Australia ?!). It was absolutely classic watching people pile off the ferry with trolleys and cars ladened with booze.

Observation 7 – The game of Mölkky/Finska is alive and well
Finska (or more accurately in Finnish – Mölkky – pronounced Mool-ker) is an old Finnish log throwing game. I stumbled across it at a golf day and bought it for my flatmate as a Christmas present. But the funny moment was when my Finnish girlfriend and her friends saw it at my place … I have never seen people so happy with cries of – ‘Oh – Mölkky !!’
It seems that every good Finnish household has this game. The twelve numbered pins and throwing pin are crafted from solid birch and each person take turns to throw the throwing pin/peg/log from 5m away. If you knock more than one peg over, you score the number of pegs knocked over. If you knock only a single peg over, you score the number on that peg. The aim of the game is to reach 50 points exactly, but don’t go over (think darts), or you will lose (go back to 25 in this case). Who would have thought you could have so much fun with a lump of wood ?!

Observation 8 – Endless summer nights have their pros and cons
Being so far north, it is amazing to experience the long summer nights. When I was there during the past couple of weeks it got dark at around 10pm and light around 5am. The photo I took on the left is from about 8:30pm I think. It really does mess with your brain (and your sleeping habits). And what surprised me is that no-one seemed to have big curtains to black out the light – they just adjust and get used to it seemingly, unlike our/my body clock which adjusts very quickly to things like daylight saving.
The negative of the endless summer nights of course is what winter is like. The photo on the right was taken at 2pm last January in northern Norway (Alta). I had just retired from bobsleigh after some training in Lillehammer and so headed north up in to the Arctic Circle in search of the northern lights. Another thing you should put on your bucket list and do !

Observation 9 – I hope you like coffee and cake
Apparently addiction to caffeine in Finland is the highest in the world. The average person consumes 1.3kgs of coffee each year. The average Finn consumes 12kgs each year. Now, imagine that you are catching up with friends or chilling at your summer cabin and someone asks if you’d like a coffee. You accept of course … and then cake is served ! You sit around (which is what the Finns seem to me to do very well) chatting or whatever and the next thing it is mealtime, in which case you eat your meal and then have a mandatory coffee and cake. And the cycle continues. Now you’re trapped.

Observation 10 – You can take the boy out of Australia but you can’t take the Australia out of the boy
What can I say? Finland is great but above all I love Australia. And as the saying says – you can take the boy out of Australia but you can’t take the Australian out of the boy … Example 1 – I may have been in Finland but Weetbix is Weetbix and breakfast should not be messed with. I mean, I was happy to adapt to Scandinavia and use blueberries instead of sultanas on top, but why why on earth would I want to have thick brown bread with meat and cheese etc on it for breakfast instead? That’s just not cricket !

And just to make sure that there is no doubt in my mind that I live in the best country and one of the best cities in the world – as I arrived home from the airport and drove into my driveway this morning, I saw 3 whales swimming merrily along from Manly to Freshwater. Now how about that as a welcome home down under !

Character – who you are when noone's looking

I’ve been thinking about character a bit lately and just pondering how it is easy to put on a facade and a show and give the impression you want. We all do it. But yet I wonder what we are like behind closed doors, when there’s no one around to show off to, or to prove something to. When our pride and ego isn’t involved. When noone will know (except God who sees all). And I’ve been thinking about how it is so true that …

“character is who you are when noone is looking”

And then I read some interesting information the other day. Did you know that the English word “character” comes from the Greek word for an engraving tool? The engraver or artist makes a mark or groove on a metal plate by repeatedly etching in the same place with a sharp tool – the engraving tool.

Our characters are created in a similar way. Any behaviour or attitude repeated over and over forms part of our character. Behaviour and character are linked. They say that if you do something for 30 days in a row it will become a habit – that is, part of your character. And habits can be the best of friends or the worst of enemies.

If you’d like some tips on how to develop habits I talk about this in Chapter 6 of my book A Life That Counts. Of course I struggle like anybody else but I do know some ways to help develop them … so hopefully my book will be helpful here – to give you actual tools and strategies to develop good habits and hence good character. (After all, character is easier kept than recovered !)

Challenge: Character is who you are when noone’s looking and in this regard habits can help you or hinder your behaviour. What part of your character will you be working on going forward ?